Myths and Facts
True or False: The way that we express our emotions (such as having a short fuse) is inherited.
False. How we express our feelings is either "taught or caught" meaning that someone taught us to act that way or we learned that acting a certain way worked.
What are body does to us: increased heart rate/breathing, sweaty palms, flush cheeks/ears/neck, etc.
Physical Cues
The point at which a person crosses from the escalation phase to the explosive phase.
A 10 on the emotional meter
Breath in (to count of 4), Hold (to count of 4), Breath out (to count of 4), Hold (to count of 4).
What is "4 square breathing"
What is the most common addiction.
Anger
True or False: Anger automatically leads to aggression.
False. Anger and aggression are not linked but are a learned response. (Is a boxer angry when he fights/being aggressive?)
What we do to our body: clench fist/jaw, stare at someone, do not make eye contact, bounce leg, pacing, etc.
Behavioral Cues
What phase of the emotional cycle does the "emotional meter" live (1 through 9 of emotional level as it builds)
The Escalation Phase
Mindful Relaxation.
What 2 classes of substances does anger help mimic
Opiates/analgesics "There is a reason that when we hit our thumb with a hammer, we do not pray" Steven Stosny.
True or False: Venting Anger is always Desirable.
False. When the "thinking brain" shuts down under extreme stress, the "lizard brain" (mid brain) will do what it was programmed to do (be aggressive, use substances etc.)
Emotions that occur before, with or after another behavior
Emotional Cue.
rejection as a primary emotion, anger as the secondary emotion (anger is almost always a secondary emotion)
The Phase of emotional cycle where the "thinking brain" has shut down and unhealthy learned behaviors tend to occur with little to no thoughts about the consequences.
The Explosive Phase
Clench fists for count of 3, then relax. Clench fists and arms for count of 3, then relax. Clench fists, arms, chest for count of 3, then relax, etc.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation.
True or False: Anger has a "let down phase" (like an anger hangover)
True: often after getting angry we get depressed afterwards. Some people will then look for something else to get angry about to pull themselves out (a hair of the dog behavior)
True or False: anger is a "Silent Killer"
True. Added Heart disease, stroke and other medical conditions can be linked to anger and other emotional states.
Thoughts or fantasizing about what you would do to a person (yell, say something cruel etc.)
Cognitive Cues.
The phase that often has the unwanted consequences from our actions (and can lead to another emotional meter build up): guilt, shame, break ups, incarceration, getting fired, paying restitution or for repairs etc.
The Post Explosive Phase
Acting Event
Belief about the Event
Consequence (the emotion that you feel)
Disputing the Belief so that unwanted emotions are not felt in those situations.
ABCD Model of Cognitive Restructuring.
Resentment.
True or False: Being emotionally dysregulated (feeling an emotion for: too long, too often, and/or too intensely) is physically harmful.
True. Besides the increase risk of cardiovascular disease, stress will increase a buildup of the stress hormone of cortisol. There is a direct correlation between cortisol and diminished immune system efficiency.
What are the 4 Cues a person may identify when they are on the "emotional meter"
Physical, Behavioral, Emotional, and Cognitive.
What are the 3 phases of the emotional cycle
Escalation, Explosive, Post Explosive Phases.
What are some other Coping Skills to get ourselves off of the "Emotional Meter"
Take a time out, Talk to someone you trust, working out, meditation (any Coping Skill that works for you)
True or False: anger is justified and we have a right to be angry.
True, but these are not the important questions. The important questions are:
Do I want to be angry?
Is being angry helping me with my long term goals and desires?