Fragments
Bad Commas
Independent Clauses
More Fragments
More Bad Commas
100
Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there in the room talking to you. Which is why I don't like to read good books.
What is "Which is why I don't like to read good books?"
100
It takes a big man to cry, it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
What is “cry, it takes a bigger man …” (comma splice, so it needs a period, semicolon, or a conjunction)
100
If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's really embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.
What is “I bet it’s really embarrassing?”
100
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine. Which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
What is "Which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis?"
100
When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is, if they ever press charges.
What is “is, if they ever press …”
200
If Alien were my friend, I'd like to be with him when he went to the dentist. When they started drilling, he'd probably go nuts and start eating everybody. That Alien!
What is "That Alien!"
200
How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol, and why don’t we use the pillow instead? It has more feathers than the dove, and doesn't have that dangerous beak."
What is “dove, and doesn’t have that dangerous beak.” (It is a compound verb but not a compound sentence, so no comma—if it included the subject, “it doesn’t have …” then the comma would be right)
200
To me, it’s always a good idea to carry two sacks of something in your hand when you walk around, because anybody asking, “Hey, can you give me a hand?” can just be told, “Nope, got these sacks.”
What is “it's always a good idea to carry two sacks of something in your hand?" [Note that "got these sacks" doesn't have a stated subject of the clause.]
200
The face of a child can say it all. Especially the mouth part of the face.
What is "Especially the mouth part of the face?"
200
If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope He likes chips, and salsa, because that's what He's getting.
What is “chips, and salsa” (only use a comma if it’s a series of nouns of 3 or more—not just 2 nouns, so no comma after chips).
300
Broken promises don’t bother me. Not at all. I just think, “Why did they believe me?"
What is "Not at all?"
300
Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess, that way he develops a good, lucky feeling.
What is “guess, that way he develops …” (new independent clause)
300
If I had a mine shaft, I don't think I would just abandon it, because there’s just got to be a better way.
What is “I don’t think I would just abandon it?”
300
A mosquito sucking on a mummy. That’s probably the saddest thing you’ll ever see. Forget it and just move on, little friend.
What is "A mosquito sucking on a mummy?"
300
When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. Then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was. Also, why did he have deer horns?
What is “up, and started wondering …” (compound verb, not compound sentence)
400
Hey, mad scientists who keep brains in jars. I’ve got a tip. Why don’t you add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?
What is "Hey, mad scientists who keep brains in jars?"
400
Sometimes you have to be careful when selecting a new name for yourself. For instance, let's say you have chosen the nickname "Fly Head." Normally you would think that "Fly Head" would mean a person who has beautiful swept-back features, as if flying through the air. Yet think again, couldn't it also mean "having a head like a fly?" I'm afraid some people might actually think that.
What is “again, couldn’t it also mean …” (both are independent clauses).
400
If your pants fall down when you’re robbing a bank, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because hey everybody, life is funny.
What is “I think it’s okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too.” (Note that “because life is funny” is a dependent clause.)
400
It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money.
What is "Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money?"
400
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh; then I think, what if I were an ant, and she fell on me, then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
What is “me, then it wouldn’t seem quite …” (independent clause)
500

"I think a good product would be Baby Duck Hat. It's a fake baby duck you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them. Then all of a sudden, you stand up out of the water and roar like Godzilla. Man, those ducks really take off! Because they don’t expect Godzilla. Also, Baby Duck Hat is good for parties.

What is "Because they don't expect Godzilla?"

500
Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaut on the moon, and fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula. The next time he goes out for the moon pieces--wham!--you just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say, "Think again, bat man."
What is “moon, and fear” (compound verb, so no comma; if it were a compound sentence, then there would be a comma).
500
If your friend is already dead and being eaten by vultures, I think it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures to teach him to do some tricks, so long as you're really serious about adopting the vulture.
What is “I think it’s okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures to teach him to do some tricks?”
500
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? Also, he's carrying a beautiful rose and a very beautiful painting. The rose dangling from his beak, the painting held aloft by his feet. Also, you're drunk.
What is "The rose dangling from his beak, the painting held aloft by his feet?" (these are participles--adjectives that look like/are formed by verbs.)
500
I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going to be an eclipse and tell the cave men, "If I have come to destroy you, may the sun be blotted out from the sky." Just then the eclipse would start, and they'd probably try to kill you or something, then you could explain about the rotation of the moon and all, and everyone would get a good laugh.
What is “something, then you could explain …” (independent clause)
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