Edit Grammar, Mechanics, and Spelling
Revise drafts to improve Style... 13C
Spelling, Capitalization, and Punctuation
Thesis, Structure 15a
Sentence Structure
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Although I was to old to cry about the situation, tears threatened to spill down my cheeks anyway. What change is needed in sentence 9? A Delete Although B Change to old to too old C Delete the comma D Change cheeks to cheek’s
What is B.
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(23) Living in a bus has presented a few questions, especially during the hot Texas summers. (24) “We’re basically in a metal box,” Natalie explained. (25) Even with an air conditioner, the midday heat is brutal. Katy wants to use a more appropriate word than questions in sentence 23. Which of these could best replace the word questions? F challenges G curiosities H landmarks J points
What is F.
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How should sentence 4 be changed? F Delete so G Change was to am H Change estatic to ecstatic J Sentence 4 should not be changed.
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(2) Wind turbines, which capture energy from the wind, have been around for years. (3) So what’s so exciting about this one? (4) It’s a winner. (5) It’s quite special. Julio did not write an effective thesis for this paper. He would like to delete sentences 4 and 5 and replace them with two sentences that better articulate his thesis. Which of the following should he use? A Wind turbines aren’t anything new. They have been around for a long time. B People come up with new ideas. And new ideas mean creative solutions for all. C This wind turbine is unique. It can produce both energy and water. D A wind turbine may be the perfect answer. Experts believe this is true.
What is C.
100
What is the correct way to write sentences 10 and 11? F Finally, when I had to repair my broken glasses following a particularly rough basketball game is when I agreed. To give contact lenses a try. G Finally, I had to repair my broken glasses following a particularly rough basketball game, then I agreed to give contact lenses a try. H Finally, after having to repair my broken glasses following a particularly rough basketball game, I agreed to give contact lenses a try. J Sentences 10 and 11 are correct in the paper.
What is H
200
(15) Even worse, the tentacles become extra sticky when they’re in contact with skin, so trying to remove it can make a sting even more severe. What change needs to be made in sentence 15? F Change become to became G Change they’re to their H Delete so J Change it to them
What is J.
200
(21) It’s astounding to me that one of the lowest voter turnout rates in the United States is what Texas has. What is the most effective way to revise sentence 21? F Because it’s astounding to me, Texas has one of the lowest voter turnout rates in the United States. G It’s astounding to me what Texas has being one of the lowest voter turnout rates in the United States. H It’s astounding to me that Texas has one of the lowest voter turnout rates in the United States. J As astounding as it is, it’s also shocking that Texas has one of the lowest voter turnout rates in the United States.
What is H
200
(27) As we began to open up to each other, I started to see how Kaitlyn and I were really a lot alike. What change, if any, needs to be made in sentence 27? A Delete the comma B Change Kaitlyn and I to Kaitlyn and me C Change a lot to alot D No change needs to be made.
What is D.
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(28) And just as they hoped, Rosie has become a gathering place for family and friends. Katy would like to add a quotation to the end of her paper to directly support the idea expressed in sentence 28. Which of the following could best follow and support sentence 28? A “We both struggle with putting things where they go,” Natalie said. “It’s easy to find space to dump stuff on. I think every home has that.” B “We can cook full meals and people migrate between inside the bus, the backyard, and the campfire,” commented Mike. “We’ve been blessed with this space and the chance to exercise this experiment.” C “Unfortunately, I do get attached to vehicles, so I think we do have to figure out what to do with it for about the next 30 years,” Mike added. D “And, honestly, between the hours of 11 A.M. and 6 P.M., we weren’t able to live in here comfortably even with the AC,” Natalie once admitted. “We burned one out, it was so hot.”
What is B
200
14 What is the correct way to write sentence 13? F For the rest of the day, neither of us spoke, and it was obvious. That she was no happier about the arrangement than I was. G For the rest of the day, neither of us spoke it was obvious that she was no happier about the arrangement than I was. H For the rest of the day, neither of us spoke. Which made it obvious that she was no happier about the arrangement than I was. J For the rest of the day, neither of us spoke. It was obvious that she was no happier about the arrangement than I was.
What is J
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(21) Studying the affects of these potent venoms is dangerous work, but scientists say that it’s worth the risk, especially if one of these “killer venoms” can actually save lives someday. What change needs to be made in sentence 21? F Change affects to effects G Change is dangerous to are dangerous H Delete the comma after work J Change lives to lifes
What is F.
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(19) Government decisions affect your life every day. (20) How can you complain about issues concerning school funding, the environment, and health care if you don’t even take the time to vote on proposals involving those issues? (21) It’s astounding to me that one of the lowest voter turnout rates in the United States is what Texas has. (22) In fact, in a recent presidential election, only about 55 percent of eligible Texans cast a vote. (23) And in local elections sometimes less than 10 percent of the voting population chooses who will make them. The meaning of sentence 23 is unclear. What is the most effective way to clarify the meaning of this sentence? A Change sometimes to there are times when B Change population to citizenry C Change chooses to selects D Change them to those important decisions
What is D.
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(4) One example is the cone snail found in the Coral Reefs near Australia. How should sentence 4 be changed? A Change is to was B Change found to it is found C Change Coral Reefs to coral reefs D Sentence 4 should not be changed.
What is C
300
(13) Friends and family could then purchase materials such as flooring, kitchen equipment, and an air conditioner that would help the couple turn their bus into a home. (14) In his blog Mike referred to their efforts as “an experiment in simplicity.” (15) A few months later the bus was ready, and the newlyweds were preparing to move in. (16) They were pleased that their new home had a living area, a bedroom, and a small kitchen, complete with running water and a propane stove. Katy’s transition from the second paragraph (sentences 5–9) to the third paragraph (sentences 10–14) is weak. Which of the following could best replace sentence 10 and provide a more effective transition between these two paragraphs? F It was time to begin all the hard work. G Finding the bus on an Internet site had seemed like a miracle. H Then the couple faced the task of turning the school bus into a home. J What a joy it was to begin an eco-friendly project!
What is H
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(17) As toxic as these and other venoms can be, scientists are discovering that they sometimes have beneficial uses. (18) For example, the venom of the Brazilian pit viper is the source of a drug used to treat high blood pressure. (19) While a component found in copperhead snake venom may soon be used to treat breast cancer. (20) In addition, the venom of the cone snail is currently being evaluated in research laboratories as a possible painkiller. What is the correct way to write sentences 18 and 19? A For example, the venom of the Brazilian pit viper is the source of a drug used to treat high blood pressure, a component found in copperhead snake venom may soon be used to treat breast cancer. B For example, the venom of the Brazilian pit viper is the source of a drug used to treat high blood pressure, and there is a component found in copperhead snake venom. Which may soon be used to treat breast cancer. C For example, the venom of the Brazilian pit viper is the source of a drug used to treat high blood pressure, while a component found in copperhead snake venom may soon be used to treat breast cancer. D For example, the venom of the Brazilian pit viper. It is the source of a drug used to treat high blood pressure, while a component found in copperhead snake venom may soon be used to treat breast cancer.
What is C
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(15) Since we had come this far, she wanted me to at least see what it felt like to wear contact lenses.(16) She said that once I got it in, I would be free to make my own decision. What change, if any, is needed in sentence 16? A Insert quotation marks after said B Change it to them C Insert a comma after free D No change is needed in this sentence.
What is B.
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(13) Even today this right is very limited in some countries around the world. (14) Therefore, in Saudi Arabia the government operates under an absolute monarchy, and people have no opportunity to vote in national elections. Damian would like to use a more appropriate transition in sentence 14. Which of the following is the best replacement for Therefore? A Furthermore B Meanwhile C However D For example
What is D.
400
(7) Just a few microliters of this venom, less than the amount most eyedroppers hold is enough to kill 10 people! What change needs to be made in sentence 7? F Change than to then G Insert a comma after hold H Change is to are J No change needs to be made in this sentence.
What is G.
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Mike and Natalie Young, of Austin, are two people who have made that choice.(4) They have a bus and have named it Rosie. (5) “For years I have been interested in the mobile lifestyle, tiny houses,repurposing useful materials, and auto mechanics,” Mike Young wrote in his blog. Katy wants to create a more effective thesis statement for her paper. Which of the following could replace sentence 4 and more accurately convey the thesis of this paper? A Fearing life in the city, they chose a more rural existence in a big yellow school bus. B This couple didn’t have to, but they decided that a bus is what they wanted to have. C This young couple lives in a uniquely converted school bus that they have affectionately named Rosie. D Instead of a normal dwelling, they have chosen a vehicle—something quite rare, strange, and out of the norm.
What is C.
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What is the correct way to write sentence 29? F Now I pop my contacts in and out in seconds I love the freedom they give me. G Now I pop my contacts in and out in seconds, which loves the freedom they give me. H Now I pop my contacts in and out in seconds. Loving the freedom they give me. J Now I pop my contacts in and out in seconds, and I love the freedom they give me.
What is J
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(24) We were less then a mile from the doctor’s office when I announced, “Mom, I want to go back and learn how to put the lenses in myself. What change, if any, needs to be made in sentence 24? F Change then to than G Change announced to anounced H Delete the comma after Mom J No change needs to be made in this sentence.
What is F.
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(10) This idea of taxation without representation is part of the reason our forefathers were determined. (11) They wanted to separate from Great Britain and form their own nation. What is the most effective way to combine sentences 10 and 11? F This idea of taxation without representation is part of the reason our forefathers were determined, who wanted to separate from Great Britain and form their own nation. G This idea of taxation without representation is part of the reason our forefathers were determined to separate from Great Britain and form their own nation. H This idea of taxation without representation is part of the reason our forefathers were determined because they separated from Great Britain and formed their own nation. J This idea of taxation without representation is part of the reason our forefathers were determined separating from Great Britain and forming their own nation.
What is G
500
(9) Although far from the world’s largest spider, it can be one of the most venomus. What change needs to be made in sentence 9? A Change Although far to It is far B Delete the comma C Change venomus to venomous D No change needs to be made.
What is C
500
(15) A few months later the bus was ready, and the newlyweds were preparing to move in. (16) They were pleased that their new home had a living area, a bedroom, and a small kitchen, complete with running water and a propane stove. (17) But Mike and Natalie weren’t finished yet. (18) They wanted Rosie to feel like a home rather than a recreational vehicle. (19) They carefully selected artwork to display in the foyer, or entrance, of the bus. (20) They added potted plants and rugs. (21) Wooden furniture was topped with photos, books, and lamps. (22) Mike explained, “We choose the few things that have the most impact, that mean the most to us.” Katy realizes that she left the following detail out of the fourth paragraph (sentences 15–22). "While the Youngs had fun decorating their new home, they knew they had to be wise about what they brought into such a small space." Where is the most effective place to insert this sentence? A At the beginning of the paragraph B After sentence 21 C After sentence 22 D This sentence is not relevant to the main idea of the paragraph and should not be inserted.
What is B
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26 What is the correct way to write sentence 11? F Beever moves back and forth between the pavement and the camera. To carefully check every mark that he makes. G Moving back and forth between the pavement and the camera, Beever carefully checks every mark that he makes. H Back and forth between the pavement and the camera Beever moves. Carefully checking every mark that he makes. J Sentence 11 is already correct in the paper.
What is G
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