Dad Jokes
Why are libraries so tall?
Because they have so many stories!
Why can't I stand Russian dolls?
Because they are full of themselves.
How do deaf bears communicate?
They Ursine Language.
Do you happen to have a Band-Aid?
'Cause I scraped my knees falling for you.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
How do fish pay for groceries?
With sand dollars.
Why did the deaf comedian become so popular?
Because he had everyone in stitches!
What language do pigs speak?
Swine language.
Are you an electrician?
Because you're definitely lighting up my day.
Knock Knock
Cow says.
Cow says who?
No, cow says mooooo.
How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh?
Tentickles!
Why did the ASL teacher get in trouble?
For finger-pointing!
What does santa say when he loses his hearing aid?
Huh? Huh? huh?
Is your name Google?
Because you’re everything I am searching for.
Knock knock.
Who is there?
Knock knock?
Who is there!?
A deaf person.
Where do surfers go for an education?
Boarding school.
R.
Why is it that the hearing of people who work on the railroad is different from other people's hearing?
Because they have engine ears.
Do you have a map?
I just got lost in your eyes.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ice cream.
Ice cream who?
ICE CREAM SO YOU CAN HEAR ME!
What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies.
What did the sign language interpreter do at the rock concert?
He threw up the horns!
What did the deaf, blind, and dumb kid get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Do you play soccer?
Because you’re a keeper.
Knock Knock.
Who is there?
Surprise.
Surprise who?
THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!