500
A decent essay
What is
Toby the Terrific Turkey
Toby turkey was a smart turkey. He wasn't an ordinary smart turkey though, no sir. He was a genius turkey, probably the smartest on the planet! Every day, he grabbed his monocle, some books, and hurried to UCST, the college of San Turkey. He was a professor of mathematics that always had bees in his bonnet. In fact, he was so bright he didn't turn on the lights when he had his nose in a book.
Normally, Toby was the turkey you asked questions to, if you had them. He would always give you a wise answer. But one day, that all changed. Here's the yarn that I recall.
Toby was sitting in the shade of a willow tree, reading a large book. The large tree above swayed in the wind, occasionally a leaf on Toby's head. But he didn't mind. He found the breeze quite peaceful. And it was better than sitting in the mighty hot sun. Suddenly, a student dashed into a kingdom burning the breeze.
"Eureka!" he squawked, "I've got this super cool device!"
Toby carefully studied the unusual machine. It was a sparkling coat of silver, with shiny red buttons. They glistened in the sun. There were eerie symbols on the buttons. A regular turkey would think they were ancient hieroglyphs, but Toby had studied billions of textbooks and even human textbooks so he knew the unusual symbols were numbers.
"Let me study this peculiar thing at home.” Toby replied. But of course he knew what it was. He couldn’t mistake a calculator for anything. It was so unique.
That night, he paced in his bedroom, holding his lammy. He had always thought he was the smartest thing in a small town like this, but he was humble enough to admit his smartest couldn’t compare with the calculator’s. But Toby wasn’t the kind of turkey that would give up easily. The thing he decided to do was work hard and outsmart the calculator. He worked for long weeks at a time, only taking breaks to do life essentials,
Not much was known about him during his long days of studying. Instead, let’s talk about what Toby received from those long periods of studying, for what happened was very interesting.
After Toby had done his ridiculous studying, he challenged the calculator to a competition. Toby’s buddy, Tigson, had come up with some ridiculous math problems. Their buddy, Tony was going to answer with a calculator. Toby was going to use his mind.
“MAY THE COMPETITION BEGIN!” squawked Tigson. “FIRST QUESTION! WHAT IS 999*888*777*666*555*444*333*222*111*000?”
Toby hit the buzzer before Tony could press a button on the calculator.
“According to Hoyle, the answer is zero.” Toby said matter-of-factly.
“CORRECT!” shouted Tigson as he flapped his wings. “NEXT QUESTION! 1/2*1/3*1/4*1/5*1/6*1/7*1/8*1/9*1/10!”
There was a short pause, except for the sound of Tony’s calculator. Suddenly, Tony smashed his buzzer, and smirked when he thought he would answer the question correctly.
“The answer is 1/ggsse.
“WRONG!” Tigson screeched as he pecked the air.
Toby pressed his buzzer.
“The answer is not 1/ggsse, but 1/3556.” said Toby, lowering his monocle.”You read the answer upside down. You see, 35566 upside down is ggsse, but they don’t equal each other.”
“Oh.” Tony blushed. His fans glared at him.
“TOBY IS CORRECT!” announced Tigson. “AND SINCE THIS IS A BEST OF THREE COMPETITION, TOBY HAS BEATEN THE CALCULATOR!”
A cheer ran through the crowd, along with a round of applause. Toby bowed, grabbed his trophy, and hurried on his way.
When he reached his home around 9 o’clock P.M. he was fagged out. But he still slept peacefully. After two hard years, he had finally proven that he was smarter than the calculator.
The next day, Toby hosted a fandango. There was firewater of first swathe, neck oil, other kinds of oh-be-joyful, flapjacks, and other bait. It was a true blow out. Everyone had a hog-killing time. All the caboose, there was drinking, eating, laughing, some turkeys airin’ the paunch, and backdoor trots in the bathroom.
After a while, Toby took a final base burner and dismissed the guessed, except for the bean master. Toby loved his bait.
After that day, Toby was always beliked. He became the town’s big bug. Everyone knew him. Nobody looked black at him, except for the inventor of the calculator.
When Toby died unfortunately, a boodle gathered around his grave in the bone orchard. There was a bobbery about what to write on the grave. They finally settled on writing, “R.I.P Toby Tijlibodji, the smartest turkey ever known.”
That’s the yarn that I recall, and it was a mighty good one.Oh, Toby the terrific turkey. What memories it brings.