Phrases for Miscommunication (Negative)
Phrases for Active Listening (Positive)
Settlement Conference Language VS Language Alternative
Language: Individual Practitioner to Team
Language Shift: Litigation to Collaborative
100
"You must"... "You have to"... "You will"
What is Ordering/Commanding
100
"Can you tell me more?"
What is Encouraging/Fortify/Comfort
100
"The formula for the division of this asset is"
What is "Pooling the resources available"
100
Lawyer: "I use Cathleen as a financial expert" Collaborative Team Lawyer:........
Collaborative Team Lawyer: "I work with Cathleen as a financial specialist"
100
"Entitlements/Rights...."
What are "Options, wants, requests, wishes, needs"
200
"When?...How?....What?..Where?..Who?
What is Prying/Investigating/Inquiring
200
"Many people feel the way you do"
What is Normalizing/Adapt/Adjust
200
"The percentage of the time with each child is"
What is "Lets talk about how your going to share"
200
Therapist: "I can't share that information" Coach:.............
Coach: "Let me tell you what I know"
200
"Child Support"
What is "What it takes to pay for our children's expenses"
300
"If you don't then.." "You'd better or else"
What is Threatening/Enforce/Abuse
300
"I can see you are feeling very angry right now"
What is Acknowledging/Accede/Accept
300
"Our position is"
What are "Brainstorming alternatives"
300
Child Expert: "What this child needs" Child Specialist:................
Child Specialist:"How can the parents help this child?"
300
"Make settlement proposals"
What are "Brainstorm options"
400
"You're being unrealistic ..emotional..angry"
What is Labeling/Characterize/Classify
400
"Let me see if I understand what you said.."
What is Summarizing/Review/Abridge
400
"Judge decides"
"Will that work for you?"
400
Financial Expert:"The clients would be better off if they.." Financial Neutral:..........
Financial Neutral:"What kind of options should we be considering?"
400
"Custody, visitation, access"
What is "Sharing time with children"
500
"Don't you think you should.."
What is Manipulating//Employ/Wield
500
"I appreciate your willingness to be here"
What is Validating/Approve/Authorize
500
"Opposing parties"
What are "Clients, Attorney's, and Collaborative actual names"
500
Lawyer:"Let me tell you what this case needs" Collaborative Lawyer:
Collaborative Lawyer:"Let's figure out what works for the clients"
500
"If you went to court...."
What is "taking a look at the pros and cons"
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