Oh Boy...
What did English say to Algebra when they were arguing?
Don’t change the subject.
Which weighs more, a pound of feathers or a pound of bricks?
Neither, they both weigh one pound.
What can you throw but not catch?
A party!
What jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
What do teens say when they have trouble in their math class?
“I can’t even.”
What fruit is always sad?
What has to be broken before you can use it?
An egg
If an electric train is traveling south, which way is the smoke going?
There is no smoke. It’s an electric train.
I sleep during the day and fly at night, but I have no feathers to aid my flight. What am I?
A bat.
What kind of room has no doors or windows?
A mushroom.
During which month do people sleep the least?
February
What is the sweetest and most romantic fruit?
Honeydew
What question can you never answer yes to?
Are you asleep yet?
I can honk without using a horn. What am I?
A Goose
You can’t keep this until you have given it?
A promise.
What can make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles (tentacles)
What is one thing a young child has that God does not?
Parents
What has a neck but no head?
A bottle.
The English alphabet goes from A to Z but my name goes from Z to A. What am I?
A Zebra
The past, present, and future walked into a bar.
Can you guess how the atmosphere was in the room?
It was tense.
What did the beach say when the tide came in?
Long time, no sea
I have a thousand wheels, but move I do not. Call me what I am, call me a lot.
A parking lot
What do you do if there is a kidnapping at high school?
You wake him up.
Why do cats make good warriors?
Because they have 9 lives
Kate’s mother has three children: Snap, Crackle and ___?
Kate!