Napkins
The Appropriate time to place the Napkin in your lap.
As soon as you are seated.
When everyone at the table has been served. Bonus: at a private diner party only start eating when the host or hostess starts.
Use from outside in.
In what order are the utinsiles used?
Generally only one utinsil per course (sometimes both a knife and fork may be used).
10 Minutes Early
When should you arrive?
Taste your food before doing this.
It is rude to add salt and pepper before tasing the food.
True or False: You should never use the napkin to wipe your face.
True: If you need to wipe your entire face you should excuse yourself to the restroom. Also you should never wipe cutlery or your nose with the napkin.
On my Left.
Food intended for me is placed here.
True or False: Once used, utinsils must not touch the table again.
True. Utinsils should be placed on the plate including handles.
True or False: Candy, Wine, Dessert or Flowers are not good hostess gifts.
True: Gifts should not be something that the host feels they must use as part of the dinner or put out immediately.
Direction food should be scooped.
True or False: when excusing yourself from the table, you should leave your Napkin on the chair.
False: it should be loosely folded and placed to the left or right side of your plate.
On my right.
Drink intended for me is placed here.
True or False: if you have a wine glass and wine is being served and you don't want any, you should turn your wine glass upside down.
False: It is more polite to let the wine be poured and not draw attention. Otherwise, hold your hand over the wine glass to signal that you do not want any wine.
True or False: it is best to sit down as soon as you arrive so when all seats are filled the host knows eveyone has arrived.
False: wait for the host or hostess to take their seat unless they ask you to do so. If there are no name cards at the table wait until the host indicates where you should sit. Typically it will be man-woman-man-woman.
True or False: You should try to eat all of your food to show appreciation to the host.
False: You should try to eat a little of everything on your plate. If you don't like something, keep silent. It is acceptable to leave some food on the plate if you are full or it is not to your liking. Never ask someone why they have not eaten all their food. Don't make an issue out of it.
True or False: When finished, re-folding your napkin the way it was originally presented is a sign of respect.
False: once used, it should never be completely re-folded, but can be loosely folded.
American Style
Knife in right hand, fork in left hand. Cut a few bite size pieces then place knife on edge of plate with blade facing in, swithch fork to right hand to eat (unless you are left handed).
True or False: Unused silverware should be placed on the plate for the server to collect.
From Left to Right
What is the direction food should be passed?
Do not stretch across the table or corss other guests to reach food or condiments.
True or False: you should pace your eating so that everyone finishes around the same time.
True: if you are a slow eater, try to speed up so you don't hold everyone up. If you are a fast eater slow down so you don't force others to eat too fast. Never continue to eat long after others have stopped.
True or False: At the end of the meal you sould Crumple the Napkin and leave it on the chair.
False: the napkin should be semi-folded and placed on the left side of the place setting.
European Style
Knife in right hand, fork in left hand. Do not switch hands, but prongs are always pointing downward. If you take a drink, you rest both unitsils in the plate cross the fork over the knife.
The 5 o'clock / 10 o'clock position.
Items that should be placed on the table when passing around the table.
Salt and Pepper Shakers, bread basket, butter plate, etc.
All items should be placed directly on the table instead of passing hand to hand.
Bonus: Salt and Ppper should always be passed together.
True or False: if you have dietary restrictions, it is ok to request food other than what is being served by the host.
False: if you have serious dietary restricitons or allergies you must let your host know well in advance of the dinner. Otherwise politely take the food but don't eat it.