Motivation Phase
Discussion
We look at what regularly plays out in your family interactions identifying how each of you respond during conflict or varying situations. Looking at the _____ _____ allows us to create new patterns for you guys to work together more cohesively.
Hint: Dad takes a solutions-focused approach & mom takes an exploratory approach
What is the Family Pattern?
Activity
Ex1: Guilt is hidden beneath my shutdown behaviors.
Ex2: Insecurity masks my confidence in being able to feel competent executing my job duties at work and providing protection for my children.
What is the Anger Iceberg?
Activity
Provide an example of how to use the "guided imagery" grounding technique.
What is visualizing a fall crisp day going for a walk in the woods paying special attention to your surroundings (what you hear, see etc)
Activity
Family members looked at the same photograph but interpreted what was seen slightly differently.
Ex1: Baby + lake scene
Ex2: Face + word "LIAR"
Ex3: Bird holding something in mouth + man in a canoe on island (i.e. Coy fish, Sombrero)
Ex4: Old woman + young girl
What are Optical Illusions?
Discussion
Avoidance, Anxiety, Disappointment, Distraction, Protection, Consistency, Devotion
These are all examples of _____ ______.
What are Family Themes?
Activity
Members took turns as both "the speaker" & "the listeners." The speaker described a photograph of geometric shapes while the listeners drew what the speaker said without asking any questions
What is Back-to-Back Drawing?
Activity
What is the 5-Senses Grounding Technique?
What is the Grounding technique utilizing Sight, Sound, Smell, Touch, Taste (Alternative option: can substitute for colors & shapes as well)
Activity
Working together to problem solve by eliminating 25 essential survival items if stranded on an island down to 10 (15 with backpack) items. Process of elimination and teamwork.
What is Family Survival Guide?
Discussion
What is it called when you start to worry about a future event or situation often causing you to play out scenarios and responses in your head prior to the event happening?
What is Anticipatory Anxiety?
Activity
Members responded to general "get to know you" questions & then were tasked with reflecting back or summarizing what answers they heard
What is Reflective Listening?
Activity
What is Categories grounding technique?
Dad: Motorcycle parts
Mom: Parts of the body
Alex: Videogames
What is focusing on the present moment and reducing overwhelming thoughts. First two rounds offered with chosen topics (animals, movies, vegetables). Third round was a topic of your choice within 15-25 second increments.
Discussion
_____ is what a person may think or feel during an action or conversation. It's what you thought you were doing.
VERSES
_____ Refers to how that action or conversation makes the other person feel. This is how your actions were perceived by the other person.
Ex: You make a joke with your friends, but they don't laugh at it. Your ____ was to be funny, but your ____ was hurtful.
Ex: Both of you learn that Alex's grades are lower than what's typical of him. You try to have a discussion about the importance of him sticking to a routine, but he shuts down. His perception is that you guys are disappointed in him, but your goal is to foster a conversation about how to best offer support. This is an example of _____ VERSES _____.
What is Intention verses Impact?
Activity
Ex: Alex will shut down when feeling overwhelmed.
Which response demonstrates Listening to Understand and which demonstrates Listening to React?
A. Well if you just would do XYandZ then you wouldn't be so stressed out
B. I hear that you're feeling overwhelmed, is there anything I can do to help you?
What is A. Listening to React
What is B. Listening to Understand
Activity
What do you think Feelings Charades was intended to teach you?
What is enhancing emotional awareness by acting out and identifying different emotions through nonverbal communication cues.
Discussion
Ex1: Negative behavior: Defiance
Reframing behavior: Defiance = Asserting ones independence and establishing their identity
Ex2: Negative behavior: Strict parenting style
Reframing behavior: Desire to keep their children safe
Try to reframe the behaviors below:
A. Resistant to ask for help or withholds feelings
B. Ignoring someone when they're talking to you
C. Always interrupting & wanting to have last word
What is A. Afraid to speak up, not feeling safe, lack of trust, protecting oneself from negative or dismissive reactions.
What is B. Protecting emotional well-being, “I need to step back to avoid saying something I might regret," avoiding escalation, gathering thoughts before responding
What is C. Fighting to feel seen and heard
Activity
Which sentence below accurately reflects an "I" statement?
A. I don't understand why you like Star Wars; it's boring.
B. You never listen to me.
C. I feel unheard when I don't get a chance to finish my thoughts because it seems like my ideas and opinions don't matter.
D. You never clean up after yourself.
What is C. I feel unheard when I don't get a chance to finish my thoughts because it seems like my ideas and opinions don't matter.
"I feel" (emotion) "when"(situation/behavior) "because" (reason why) ...
Discussion
What skill could you practice to self regulate?
Whichever one works best for you!