Expected vs Unexpected
During an outside game, someone bumps into you and immediately says, "Sorry." You say, "That's OK" and continue playing the game. Is your behavior expected or unexpected?
Expected! The person apologized and didn't mean to bump you. You kept calm and continue on with the game knowing it was just an accident.
In class your teacher says you are going to do a math game. You loudly say "UGH this is so dumb! Do we have to do this? I hate this game"
Is this a say it or a think it thought? How do you think this makes your teacher feel?
Think it. This comment is not kind and probably hurts your teacher's feelings. She might feel sad because she spent a lot of time creating a game to try to make math more fun.
You walk into class while everyone is quietly working and yell, "I'm back what are we doing?!!" What kind of behavior is this?
Unexpected. What could you do instead that would be a more expected behavior?
In class you are working on a big project that is really important part of your grade. Everyone in your class is already way farther than you. You are starting to feel frustrated and overwhelmed because you don't know where to start. What should you do?
Ask your teacher for help. Ask if they can explain the parts you are stuck on or break it into smaller parts. Ask if they can help get you started.
You are playing a team game in gym/p.e. Your team does not win. You immediately begin stomping your feet and yelling, "This game is stupid! I'm never playing that game again!"
What type of behavior is this? What is another way to respond?
Unexpected
Step away and take deep breaths, tell the other team "good game", drink water
Your friend comes to school wearing a shirt that you think looks awful. She asks you how you like the shirt. How can you respond in a way that uses an "expected behavior" and doesn't hurt her feelings?
Tell her that you like her other shirt better
Tell her that it looks okay
Tell her that if she likes it, then that's all that matters. We all like different things.
You are at recess and your friend is being mean to you. What do you do?
Politely tell them to stop bothering you and walk away. If they don't stop then go talk to an adult on the playground.
One of your friends asks you if you can do their homework for them.
What do you do/say?
Politely tell them that although you are friends, you don't feel comfortable cheating because you can both get in trouble.
Someone accidentally bumps into you as you are walking in the hall changing classes. You want to scream at them, but instead you wait five seconds and take a breath. What kind of behavior is this?
Expected Behavior! Even though you were upset and wanted to scream, you waited 5 seconds and took a breath to calm down instead of yelling.
A boy in your class has really bad breath. It makes it hard to talk to him. You want to tell him "You should really brush your teeth more. Your breath stinks!"
Is this a say it or a think it comment?
Think it! It is rude to say that. What could we say instead if he is a good friend but we do think his breath stinks?
Ex: I like to chew gum sometimes during the day, it helps me focus and keeps my breath minty fresh! Do you like to chew gum? or Would you like a piece?
or
I just went to the dentist, it feels so good to have clean teeth! Have you been recently?
The person at the desk next to you is talking very loudly during Independent work time. You are trying to focus on your work but the talking is distracting you and you are starting to get annoyed. What should you do?
Ask the person to please speak quietly.
Ask your teacher if you can work somewhere else in the room.
Ask your teacher if you can put your headphones on during work time.
If you are getting upset ask if you can take a break or get a drink.
You don't understand how to do your new work. You mess up a lot. You go home and tell your parents that you hate school. What kind of behavior is this? What could you do differently, if anything?
Unexpected. I need to ask for help.
You feel yourself starting to get anxious or nervous at school. What is an expected behavior in this situation?
Ask the teacher if you can take a break
Talk to a friend, mentor, or trusted adult
Drink water
Take 10 deep breaths
Use a quiet fidget
Tommy and Deshawn are working together on a project. They are looking at a question on the worksheet. Tommy says what he thinks the answer is. Deshawn says "Are you serious? No! That's not even close to the right answer!"
Was this a say it or think it thought? How do you think Deshawn'c comment made Tommy feel?
Think it. Deshawn's comment probably made Tommy feel sad, hurt, and embarrassed. Can you give a better example of how Deshawn could have reacted?
You come to the resource room and Ms. D and Mrs. Wolf aren't in the room.
What do you do?
Wait outside the door. Don't enter the room until an adult is present.
You and 2 friends are hanging out at your friends house. You are trying to decide what to do. You say you want to go play outside but your friend says we should play Xbox. Your other friend says "I think both of those sound fun". The friend who suggested the Xbox says "Ok we're going to go do Xbox then because thats better." Should you get upset that they didn't pick your activity? What could you say or do in this situation?
Make a compromise.
Suggest playing Xbox for a little bit and then going outside.
Or say "Since we are going to play Xbox can I pick the game?"
Or pick a different activity that you all agree on, like playing with legos.
When is it an "expected behavior" to tell a teacher about another student's "bad behavior" at school?
If the student is harming themselves or others
If the student asks you to do something wrong or harmful
If the student knowingly says hurtful words to you or others
If the students behavior is being disruptive and you have tried to solve the problem independently (asking them politely to stop, moving away etc.) but the student is still being disruptive.
What are 4 things to remember when making a comment in school. (Mrs. D and Mrs. Wolf have a sign for this.)
Is it...
True?
KIND?
Helpful?
Necessary?
You and a partner are paired up for partner reading. Your partner is reading slow and sounding out the words. Sometimes he even mispronounces them. When he gets stuck on a word you just say the word so it goes faster and when he mispronounces it you correct him. After you do it for the 4th time he balls up his fists says "I can read fine thanks"
How do you think your partner is feeling? Why? What should you do?
Your partner is getting frustrated that you keep correcting him and jumping in. You should ask your partner if he would like help when he gets stuck or if he prefers to do it on his own. You could also ask him if he would like you to read it all and you can answer the questions together.
You and a friend got into an argument at recess and you are upset. You talked to a teacher at recess and settled the disagreement. When you come in from recess and sit down to start your work all you can think about is the disagreement and that you are still very upset.
What can you do?
Talk to your classroom teacher and explain the situation and that while it got resolved it is still bothering you.
Ask your teacher if you can take a break to get back on track so you can do your work.
Ask your teacher if they can talk through it with you to help process the emotions.