Expected vs Unexpected
During an outside game, someone bumps into you and immediately says, "Sorry." You say, "That's OK" and continue playing the game. Is your behavior expected or unexpected?
Expected! The person apologized and didn't mean to bump you. You kept calm and continue on with the game knowing it was just an accident.
In class your teacher says you are going to do a math game. You loudly say "UGH this is so dumb! Do we have to do this? I hate this game"
Is this a say it or a think it thought? How do you think this makes your teacher feel?
Think it. This comment is not kind and probably hurts your teacher's feelings. She might feel sad because she spent a lot of time creating a game to try to make math more fun.
You walk into class while everyone is quietly working and yell, "I'm back what are we doing?!!" What kind of behavior is this?
Unexpected. What could you do instead that would be a more expected behavior?
In class you are working on a big social studies project that is really important part of your grade. Everyone in your class is already way farther than you. You are starting to feel frustrated and overwhelmed because you don't know where to start. What should you do?
Ask your teacher for help. Ask if they can explain the parts you are stuck on or break it into smaller parts. Ask if they can help get you started.
You are playing a team game in gym/p.e. Your team does not win. You immediately begin stomping your feet and yelling, "This game is stupid! I'm never playing that game again!"
What type of behavior is this? What is another way to respond?
Unexpected
Step away and take deep breaths, tell the other team "good game", drink water
Your friend comes to school wearing a shirt that you think looks awful. She asks you how you like the shirt. How can you respond in a way that uses an "expected behavior" and doesn't hurt her feelings?
Tell her that you like her other shirt better
Tell her that it looks okay
Tell her that if she likes it, then that's all that matters. We all like different things.
You disagree with a classmate about an important topic during a class discussion. How would you respectfully share your opinion and respond to their point of view?
I would respectfully share my opinion by explaining my thoughts without being rude or interrupting. I would listen to my classmate’s point of view and try to understand why they think that way. Even if we disagree, I would respect their opinion and keep the conversation calm and appropriate.
One of your friends asks you if you can do their homework for them.
What do you do/say?
Politely tell them that although you are friends, you don't feel comfortable cheating because you can both get in trouble.
Someone accidentally bumps into you as you are walking in the hall changing classes. You want to scream at them, but instead you wait five seconds and take a breath. What kind of behavior is this?
Expected Behavior! Even though you were upset and wanted to scream, you waited 5 seconds and took a breath to calm down instead of yelling.
A boy in your class has really bad breath. It makes it hard to talk to him. You want to tell him "You should really brush your teeth more. Your breath stinks!"
Is this a say it or a think it comment?
Think it! It is rude to say that. What could we say instead if he is a good friend but we do think his breath stinks?
Ex: I like to chew gum sometimes during the day, it helps me focus and keeps my breath minty fresh! Do you like to chew gum? or Would you like a piece?
or
I just went to the dentist, it feels so good to have clean teeth! Have you been recently?
The person at the desk next to you is talking very loudly during Independent work time. You are trying to focus on your work but the talking is distracting you and you are starting to get annoyed. What should you do?
Ask the person to please speak quietly.
Ask your teacher if you can work somewhere else in the room.
Ask your teacher if you can put your headphones on during work time.
If you are getting upset ask if you can take a break or get a drink.
You are working on a group project, and your teacher assigns you to a group with classmates you do not usually work with. You would rather work with your friends, so you become frustrated and tell your group, “I’m not doing this. I’ll just do my own part.” You stop participating in the group discussion.
Is this an expected or unexpected behavior? What could you do differently?
This is an unexpected behavior because group projects require students to work together, even when they are not with their friends. A better choice would be to stay with the group, listen to everyone’s ideas, and do my part of the project. I can feel frustrated about the situation while still choosing to respond appropriately.
You feel yourself starting to get anxious or nervous at school. What is an expected behavior in this situation?
Ask the teacher if you can take a break
Talk to a friend, mentor, or trusted adult
Drink water
Take 10 deep breaths
Use a quiet fidget
Tommy and Shawn are working together on a project. They are looking at a question on the worksheet. Tommy says what he thinks the answer is. Shawn says "Are you serious? No! That's not even close to the right answer!"
Was this a say it or think it thought? How do you think Deshawn'c comment made Tommy feel?
Think it. Shawn's comment probably made Tommy feel sad, hurt, and embarrassed. Can you give a better example of how Shawn could have reacted?
You come to speech and Ms. K isn't in the room. You sit down and wait for her. You've waited 6 minutes and she still hasn't returned.
What do you do?
Head back to class. Ms. K must have had something important that she had to take care of and didn't have time to tell you there was no speech today. If your teacher is not in the middle of teaching you could ask them if Ms. K is here today.
You and two friends are hanging out after school and trying to decide what to do. You suggest going out to get something to eat, but one of your friends wants to stay home and play video games. Your other friend says, “I’m okay with either.”
Your friend says, “We’re just going to play video games. I don’t feel like going out.” You feel disappointed because they did not choose your idea.
Would it be expected or unexpected to get angry or argue with your friends because they chose a different activity? What could you say or do instead?
Getting angry or arguing would be unexpected behavior. It is okay to feel disappointed when your friends do not choose your idea, but I should handle my feelings appropriately. I could suggest a compromise, such as playing video games first and getting food afterward, or calmly say, “That’s okay. Maybe we can go out another time.”
When is it an "expected behavior" to tell a teacher about another student's "bad behavior" at school?
If the student is harming themselves or others
If the student asks you to do something wrong or harmful
If the student knowingly says hurtful words to you or others
If the students behavior is being disruptive and you have tried to solve the problem independently (asking them politely to stop, moving away etc.) but the student is still being disruptive.
What are four important things you should remember when making a comment or sharing your thoughts in school?
Four things to remember when making a comment in school are:
Be respectful – Use kind words and respect other people’s ideas.
Stay on topic – Make sure your comment is about what the class is discussing.
Think before you speak – Make sure your comment is helpful and appropriate.
Listen to others – Pay attention when others are speaking and do not interrupt.
You and a classmate are working together on a reading assignment. Your classmate reads more slowly than you and sometimes gets stuck on words or repeats sounds while speaking. You notice that they are taking longer to read the passage, so you start saying words for them when they pause and correcting them when they make a mistake.
After you do this several times, your classmate looks frustrated and says, “I can read it myself. Please let me finish.”
How do you think your partner is feeling? Why? What should you do?
I would respect my classmate’s request and let them finish reading on their own. I would be patient and avoid interrupting or correcting them unless they ask for help. Everyone reads at their own pace, and I should make sure they feel comfortable and respected while we work together.
You had a disagreement with a friend during lunch. You talked it out and agreed to move past the situation, but when you return to class, you are still feeling frustrated. You sit down to work, but you keep thinking about what happened and find it difficult to focus on your assignment.
What could you do to manage your emotions and refocus on your work?
I could take a few deep breaths, give myself a moment to calm down, and remind myself that the disagreement has been resolved. I could focus on one part of my assignment at a time. If I am still too upset to focus, I could appropriately ask my teacher for a short break or support.