Problematic Christmas Tunes
In this 1944 duet, a woman repeatedly lists reasons she should leave while the man ignores her and focuses on the weather report.
Baby It's Cold Outside - Dean Martin, Frank Loesser
In 1996, parents trampled store employees to get this vibrating red monster, which retailed for $28 but sold on the black market for $1,500.
Tickle Me Elmo
In the 2024 Netflix masterpiece Hot Frosty, Lacey Chabert (the queen of Christmas movies) falls in love with a man who is literally one of these.
What is a Snowman?
This dense, candied cake is so notoriously hated and durable that Johnny Carson once joked there is only one of them in the world and it just keeps getting passed around.
What is Fruitcake?
Before electric lights became affordable, families in the 1800s commonly attached these open flames to the branches of their drying pine trees.
What are Candles?
This upbeat song describes a child witnessing what he believes to be his mother cheating on his father with a bearded home invader.
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
In 2016, parents were horrified to discover that their "Hatchimals" weren't just refusing to hatch, but appeared to be mumbling this specific two-word profanity while they slept.
What is "F*ck Me"? (The company claimed it was saying "Hug Me")
In the film Holiday in Handcuffs, Melissa Joan Hart deals with the stress of being single at Christmas by committing this actual felony against Mario Lopez.
What is Kidnapping? (She kidnaps him at gunpoint and forces him to meet her parents).
A 1950s Christmas party wasn't complete without a "Savory Salad" made of this jiggly brand-name substance, often suspending shrimp, tuna, or olives in mid-air.
What is Jell-O (or Gelatin)?
If you are using "Incandescent" lights, you are warned not to connect more than three strands end-to-end to prevent blowing this safety device in your basement.
What is a Fuse (or Circuit Breaker)?
In "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer," the family creates a solid legal defense for Santa by noting that Grandma had been drinking this specific beverage and forgot her medication.
What is Eggnog?
In 1998, the NSA briefly banned this robotic owl-like toy from the Pentagon because they feared it was recording government secrets (it wasn't).
What is a Furby?
In The Knight Before Christmas, Vanessa Hudgens plays a science teacher who finds true love after she hits a medieval time-traveler with this object.
What is Her Car?
While modern versions use apples and raisins, traditional "Mincemeat" pie is named that because it originally contained "Suet," which is the hard fat from this animal.
What is a Cow (Beef) / Sheep (Mutton)?
Up until the 1970s, "Tinsel" (the silver strands you throw on the tree) was widely made from this heavy metal, which is why it didn't tangle... and why you shouldn't eat it.
What is Lead?
If you analyze the lyrics of this classic, it is actually a story about systemic workplace discrimination where the CEO ignores bullying until an employee's disability becomes profitable for the company.
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
In 1983, a riot broke out at a Zayre department store in Wilkes-Barre, PA, where a manager wielded a baseball bat to defend a stock of these "adoptable" soft-sculpture dolls.
What are Cabbage Patch Kids?
In the "so bad it's good" classic The Spirit of Christmas, the career-woman protagonist tries to sell a historic inn but ends up falling in love with a man who has this significant biological problem.
What is He is a Ghost / He is Dead? (He is a cursed spirit who only takes physical form for 12 days a year).
In the Midwest and parts of Scandinavia, a traditional Christmas dish is Lutefisk, a whitefish that has been soaked in water and this caustic chemical used to make soap.
What is Lye?
Popular in the 40s and 50s, "Bubble Lights" contain a liquid that boils at a low temperature. If the glass breaks, you are exposed to Methylene Chloride, which is also used in this DIY chemical product.
What is Paint Stripper / Paint Thinner?
In the second verse of "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas," the singer happily lists the wishes of Barney and Ben. One wants a pair of boots, but the other asks for this.
What is a Pistol?
In 2006, this console was responsible for so many destroyed living room TVs that the company had to issue a mass recall to replace the wrist straps with thicker cord.
What is the Nintendo Wii?
In the 2014 film Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever, the cynical cat (who helps a lonely girl save a mall pet store) is voiced by this Parks and Rec actress.
Who is Aubrey Plaza?
Due to a wildly successful marketing campaign in 1974, millions of families in this Asian country eat KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) as their traditional Christmas dinner.
What is Japan?
In the film The Wizard of Oz, the "snow" used in the poppy field scene—and often sold as fake snow for Christmas trees in the 1940s—was actually made of this carcinogen.
What is Asbestos?