Family Roles
This role tries to make everything look good and feel stable, and hold the family together
The hero
In a family, if one person is stressed, angry, or using substances. Who feels it?
Every member in some way
If you usually become the Hero during the holidays, what’s a healthy boundary?
“I am not responsible for managing anyone else’s mood.”
This style avoids conflict and says "it's fine" even when it's not
Passive
What is a coping skill?
Something you do to manage stress, emotions, or triggers in a healthy way.
This role uses humor or distraction to reduce tension
The Mascot
Why can healing or setting boundaries feel uncomfortable at first?
Because it targets the whole family system, old patterns feel comfortable
If you fall into the Scapegoat role, what boundary helps protect you?
“If the conversation turns to blame or shaming, I will remove myself.”
This style expresses needs by blaming, yelling, or controlling.
Agressive
What coping skill involves noticing your thoughts instead of reacting to them?
Mindfulness.
This role gets blamed when the family avoids accountability
The Scapegoat
Do family roles form because someone assigned them? or because of something else?
They form as reactions to stress, as a way to get through it
What boundary replaces the Mascot’s job of entertaining everyone?
“It’s not my job to keep everyone happy.”
This style uses sarcasm, guilt, or indirect comments.
Passive-Agressive
What is one grounding technique you can use during overwhelming moments?
5-4-3-2-1 method, touching something cold, noticing surroundings.
This role stays invisible to avoid conflict and stress
The lost child
Are family roles "good" or "bad" or are they__?
Coping skills used to survive stress.
What reframing helps someone who slips back into being the Lost Child?
“I deserve to take up space and express my needs.”
Assertive
What coping skill helps when boundaries with family feel hard during the holidays?
Time boundaries, leaving early, taking breaks, grounding, etc.
This role acts as the family therapist
Caretaker
When one person in the family system starts healing, or setting boundaries, what happens to the rest of the family?
The whole system shifts, and others may react because the pattern is changing
What boundary helps the Caretaker role stop overfunctioning?
“Other adults can manage their own emotions.”
This style develops in chaotic or inconsistent families
Defensive/Avoidant communication
What type of coping skill involves changing how you think about a situation?
Cognitive reframing or thought-shifting.