PAUSE & THINK IN ACTION
You feel disrespected and instantly want to respond fast. What is the first internal step before speaking?
What is noticing my reaction before acting on it?
Anger is often called a “secondary emotion.” What does that mean?
What is it covers a deeper feeling?
Give an example
What makes “just calm down” an ineffective statement during conflict?
What is it feels invalidating or dismissive?
In a conflict cycle, what typically comes first: emotion or behavior?
What is emotion?
Why is impulse control hardest when peers are involved?
What is peer influence increases emotion and reduces reflection?
Why is “pausing” harder when emotions are high? (name one reason)
What is my brain is in fight/flight, I feel rushed, or I want control?
Name two emotions that might be hiding under irritability.
What is hurt, fear, embarrassment, rejection, disappointment?
Turn this into a skill-based statement:
“You never listen to me.”
What is “I feel unheard when I’m talking”?
Why do family patterns repeat even when everyone “wants it to stop”?
What is automatic reactions and habits take over under stress?
What is the difference between coping and avoidance?
What is coping helps process emotion, avoidance delays it?
A pause is NOT just stopping talking, what else must happen for it to be effective?
What is calming the body or shifting thoughts?
Why do people sometimes show anger instead of vulnerability?
What is anger feels safer or more powerful than softer emotions?
Why does tone matter as much as words in family communication?
What is tone communicates emotion and intent?
In a pursue-withdraw cycle, what usually happens if both people escalate?
What is the cycle intensifies and communication breaks down?
Give an example of a coping skill that works both short-term and long-term.
What is exercise, journaling, talking to someone, breathing?
Give an example of a “bad pause” (one that doesn’t actually help).
What is walking away while still angry and thinking about the argument? Or pursuing the other person not letting them take space.
A person says “I don’t care” but their behavior shows they do (may be through anger). What’s likely happening emotionally?
What is they are protecting themselves from feeling hurt?
What is the difference between “explaining” and “defending” in an argument?
What is explaining builds understanding, defending increases conflict?
What role does “fear/worry/anxiety” often play in caregiver/parent behavior and in teen?
caregiver/parent: it drives correction, sounds like repetition?
youth: anger, yelling, disrespect
Why might someone avoid honesty even when they know it creates consequences?
What is fear of conflict, punishment, or emotional discomfort?
What is the goal of pausing in family conflict, not just behaviorally, but emotionally?
What is preventing escalation and keeping connection possible?
Why is identifying the “real feeling” important in stopping conflict cycles?
What is it reduces misunderstanding and defensive reactions?
What makes validation powerful even when you don’t agree?
What is it reduces defensiveness and increases openness?
Give an example of a validating statement.
What is the key shift FFT tries to create in a cycle?
What is changing the interaction pattern, not the person?
What is one downside of only using “control-based” coping (like shutting down or lying)?
What is it damages trust and increases long-term conflict?