The Amazing Brain
This part of the brain is very powerful, negative, and leads directly to automatic reactions.
The Feeling Brain
The workbook states that practicing mindfulness directly involves staying in this specific timeframe.
The Present
This core two-word phrase serves as the primary practice mantra for willpower when you are provoked.
STOP! THINK!
This common couple pattern involves one person seeking closeness while the other retreats for personal space.
The Demand-Withdraw Cycle (or Pursuer-Distancer)
The toxic communication habit of completely shutting down and refusing to speak to your partner during a conflict.
The Silent Treatment
This is what we do when we think about what we want to do, make a decision, and then execute it.
Act
When we are mindful of others, we do these three specific things instead of interrupting or giving advice.
Focus, Attend, and Listen (or Stop, Breathe, Listen)
The workbook uses a scenario involving these two specific authority figures to prove that people actually can control themselves when disrespected.
A boss or a policeman
This strategy involves talking directly about your actual communication process, such as saying, "We look like we're talking in circles".
Metacommunication
The dangerous emotional habit of burying your true feelings away until they eventually explode.
Stuffing your feelings until they 'boil over'
These three automatic survival responses occur instantly when our brain senses danger.
Run, Fight, or Freeze
To properly deepen your breath during a mindfulness exercise, you must breathe from this specific body part.
The Abdomen
When your stress levels are high and you are struggling to be constructive, you should repeat this 9-word "mantra" to yourself.
"Stay in contact; don't attack; don't withdraw; don't defend"
To break a Demand-Withdraw pattern, this is the action the demanding or pursuing partner must take.
Pull back and focus on something else
To avoid escalation, you must stop doing this dishonest action just to keep the current peace when you actually disagree.
Pretending you agree when you really don't
We are born with a line between the feeling brain and thinking brain that is physically described this way.
Thicker
If we simply "sit" with a negative feeling and hold it gently, the feeling will eventually do one of these two things.
Fade or turn into peace/calm
When addressing a stressed conflict partner, you should always imagine and speak directly to this part of them.
The Reasonable Adult
When entering a Time Out, you must make a firm commitment to this step rather than just using it to avoid the issue.
When you are going to address the issues again
This harmful, reactive behavior includes insulting or demeaning language and is explicitly listed under "Things to Avoid".
Verbal Abuse
These three distinct human elements are required to develop the thinking brain and strengthen its influence.
Learning, Skill, and Willpower
Name two simple, non-meditative daily habits listed to practice mindfulness, like looking at a flower or doing this before getting out of bed.
Putting a gentle smile on your face (or walking slowly)
*** DAILY DOUBLE! ***
These communication tools start with "I want, need, or feel" and must be used instead of accusatory "You" statements.
"I" Statements
Except in this specific, dangerous situation where the advice is less useful, either party generally has the power to change a relationship pattern.
An abusive situation
When someone "pushes your buttons" and you react from an emotional place before considering options, this is the negative relationship outcome.
Conflict is more likely to escalate