Unspoken Family Rules
What does “Act rigidly” mean in the context of family dysfunction?
Having inflexible rules and no room for mistakes or emotional growth.
What does the term dysfunctional family mean?
A family with unhealthy relationships or roles that cause harm.
Name one of the four main roles in a dysfunctional family.
Hero, Placater, Lost Child, or Scapegoat.
What are the three main emotions people must overcome to heal?
Hurt, anger, and fear.
What is one common behavior of adults from dysfunctional families?
Difficulty trusting others or finishing projects.
What does “Be silent” mean in a dysfunctional family?
Family members avoid discussing problems or expressing feelings.
What are the five key traits of interdependence in healthy families?
Open communication, shared decisions, joint action, trust, concern for each other.
What is the Hero’s primary function in a dysfunctional family?
Takes on adult responsibilities to keep the family appearing normal.
What is one healthy way to deal with pain from family experiences?
Talking, crying, or expressing it instead of suppressing it.
What does “super-responsible” behavior mean?
Taking on too much responsibility to compensate for family chaos.
What does “Be in denial” mean?
Refusing to admit that a problem exists or affects the family.
What is the difference between interdependence and codependence?
Interdependence is healthy mutual support; codependence means enabling unhealthy behavior.
What is the Placater’s survival strategy?
Reducing conflict by focusing on others’ needs and ignoring their own.
Why is it important to express anger in healthy ways?
Because suppressed anger can turn into depression or self-hatred.
How does growing up in dysfunction affect self-esteem?
Leads to harsh self-judgment and feelings of inadequacy.
What does “Feel isolated” mean?
Keeping distance from others and not trusting people outside the family.
What is trauma as defined in this session?
An emotional state of extreme discomfort or stress resulting from a painful experience.
How does the Lost Child cope?
By detaching and staying unnoticed to avoid family conflict.
What does reconciliation mean?
Making peace with family members or within yourself.
Why might adults from dysfunctional families struggle with intimacy?
Fear of being hurt again or fear of emotional vulnerability.
What is one way adults from dysfunctional families can unlearn these unhealthy rules?
By sharing feelings, participating in group therapy, and building healthy relationships.
What are the five “Don’ts” learned in dysfunctional families according to Dr. Claudia Black?
Don’t talk, don’t trust, don’t feel, don’t think, don’t ask questions.
What role becomes the “obvious sign” that something is wrong in the family?
The Scapegoat.
How does forgiveness support recovery?
It releases emotional burdens and helps achieve freedom and peace.
What is one way to build healthier adult relationships?
Learning to communicate openly, trust others, and express emotions safely.