Characteristics
Takes the blame for the family/unhealthy person's behavior. Commonly the oldest child in birth order
Who is the scapegoat?
The Mascot
What role has underlying feelings of embarassment?
Codependents who fear rejection often suffer from this.
What low self-worth?
Instead of attacking the person’s character, you address the specific behavior that is the issue.
What is good communication?
The need to have be right about everything. Usually in Hero role
What is perfectionism?
Member who behaviors go unnoticed or discusssed. Often they feel ignored like they don't matter.
Who is The Lost Child?
This family member has feelings of neglect and anger.
Who is The Lost Child?
A codependent who experiences resentment because they spend their whole lives giving to other people and nobody gives to them is over involved in _______.
What is Care-taking?
In healthy relationships, you are clear and specific about your own needs and readily honor the needs of your loved ones.
What are healthy boundaries?
Unreliability
What is don't trust anyone and you will not be dissapointed?
They try to make people laugh, though unconsciously, to turn the focus away from the addict/alcoholic.
Who is The Mascot?
Their underlying feelings are inadequecy and fear.
Who is the Caretaker/Enabler?
Codependents that know how things should turn out and how people should behave.
What is controlling?
Healthy relationships are built on a foundation of this.
What are honesty and trust?
Five freedoms lost due to denial
What are feelings, thoughts, perceptions, wants, and imaginings?
Over and over they take on the addict's problems and responsibilities and are in charge of the family.
Who is The Enabler?
Guilt, shame, and fear.
Who is the Hero?
A codependent who believes lies lives in this.
What is denial?
Righting a wrong whenever and however possible.
What is an amends?
This is the number one rule of toxic families
What is don't talk to people about what goes on at home?
Their general positive behavior highlights how functional the family is outside the home which eliminates suspicion of toxic behavior inside the home.
Who is The Hero?
The world revolves around this person.
Who is the addict?
This codependent pushes their thoughts and feelings out of their awareness because of fear and guilt. This person suffers from___________.
What is regression?
People in recovery often feel overwhelming guilt and shame over their past actions. So doing this will help you be as compassionate with yourself as possible
What is forgive yourself?
This rule fails to address the problems in hopes they will go away.
Ignore/Deflection