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Mike is a butcher. He is 5’10” tall. What does he weigh?
Meat
Who is bigger: Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, or their baby?
The baby, because he is a little bigger.
How far can a rabbit run into the woods?
Halfway. After that, he is running out of the woods.
Which is heavier? A pound of feathers or a pound of rocks?
Neither. Both weigh a pound!
What is full of holes but can still hold water?
A sponge
In a year, there are 12 months. Seven months have 31 days. How many months have 28 days?
They All Do!
A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors?
You do not bury the SURVIVORS!
Jimmy’s mother had four children. She named the first Monday. She named the second Tuesday, and she named the third Wednesday. What is the name of the fourth child?
Jimmy, because Jimmy’s mother had four children!
Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
Mt. Everest. It was still the highest in the world. It just had not been discovered yet!
I do not have any special powers, but I can predict the score of any football game before it begins. How can I do this?
Well, the score before any football game is always zero to zero!
A farmer has 17 sheep and all but nine die. How many are left?
Nine
What are the next three letters in the following sequence?J, F, M, A, M, J, J, A, __, __, __
S, O, N. The sequence is first letter of the months of the year. September, October, and November are the next in the sequence.
Which travels faster? Hot or Cold?
Hot is faster, because you can catch a cold.
When you have me, you immediately feel like sharing me. But, if you do share me, you do not have me.
A Secret
Give me food, and I will live; give me water, and I will die. What am I?
Fire
You are in a cabin and it is pitch black. You have one match on you. Which do you light first, the newspaper, the lamp, the candle, or the fire?
You light the match first!
A lift is on the ground floor. There are four people in the lift including me.
When the lift reaches first, floor, one person gets out and three people get in.
The lift goes up to the second floor, 2 people get out 6 people get in.
It then goes up to the next floor up, no-one gets out but 12 people get in. Halfway up to the next floor up the lift cable snaps, it crashes to the floor. Everyone else dies in the lift. How did I survive?
I got out on the second floor!
First, I threw away the outside and cooked the inside. Then I ate the outside and threw away the inside. What did I eat?
Corn on the cob
What can you hold without ever touching or using your hands?
Your Breath!
Imagine that you are in a boat, in the middle of the sea. Suddenly, you are surrounded by hungry sharks, just waiting to feed on you. How can you put an end to this?
Stop imagining!
A family lives in a large tower apartment building, 10 floors high. Every day their son takes the elevator from the family’s apartment on the 10th floor to the ground floor and goes to school. When he returns in the afternoon, he uses the elevator to get to the fifth floor, and then uses the stairs for the remaining five floors. Why?
Because he cannot reach the buttons higher than five.
You are driving a bus. At the first stop, two women get on. The second stop, three men get on and one woman gets off. At the third stop, three kids and their mom get on, and a man gets off. The bus is grey, and it is raining outside. What color is the bus driver’s hair?
Whatever color your hair is! Remember, you are the bus driver!
There are three houses. One is red, one is blue, and one is white. If the red house is to the left of the house in the middle, and the blue house is to the right to the house in the middle, where is the white house?
In Washington, D.C.!
A man is headed to a mountain along with a lion, a goat, and a basket of vegetables. On the way, he needs to cross a river and the boat can only carry two things at a time. If he takes the vegetables, the lion will eat the goat. If he takes the lion, the goat will eat the vegetables. How does he cross the river?
Trip 1: He takes the goat with him, leaving the lion and the vegetables behind. On reaching the other riverbank, he drops off the goat.Trip 2: He then comes back for the lion, leaving the vegetables behind. On reaching the bank this time, he drops the lion, and again takes the goat along.Trip 3: He drops off the goat again and takes the vegetables with him to the other shore.Trip 4: Lastly, he comes back alone for the goat.
The number 8,549,176,320 is a unique number. What is so special about it?
This is the only number that includes all the digits arranged in alphabetical order