Boundaries with Friends
You want to leave a party where people are using. What can you say to the people at the party?
I’m not comfortable with this, so I’m heading out.
S, T, A
Parent asks teen to follow curfew.
Goal: Communicate rules respectfully while sticking to values
I understand you want freedom, but curfew stays the same because I value safety.
S, T, A
You lied to therapist about self-harm.
Goal: Admit the lie, repair trust, and practice honesty.
I wasn’t honest last session — I said I was fine, but I self-harmed. I want to be truthful so I can get the right help.
T,S,F
Partner checks your phone. How can you tell them you aren't comfortable with that?
I don’t feel okay with that. Trust matters to me.
S, T
You got in trouble at school and your teacher takes your phone.
Goal: Admit responsibility and negotiate respectfully
I understand I broke the rule and you’re following school policy. I’d like to talk about how I can get my phone back at the end of class.
F, A, S, T
Friends pressure you to vape or drink. How can you decline?
No thanks — that’s not something I do, but I still want to hang out.
S, T, A
You need space after an argument.
Goal: Set boundaries while respecting both sides
I’m too upset to talk right now. I’ll come back when I’m calm.
F, S, T
You stole money from a parent’s wallet.
Goal: Admit the behavior, take responsibility, and make amends.
I took money without asking, and that was wrong. I’ll pay it back and want to earn your trust again.
F, S, T
Partner lies to you. What can you say?
I found out you weren’t honest. I need honesty to trust someone.
T, S
You’re being directly bullied and want to respond assertively. What can you say?
I don’t deserve to be talked to that way. I’m walking away and will talk to an adult.
F, S, T
You don’t want to spend as much time with a friend who is clingy or always wants to hang out.
Goal: Assert personal space and limits without guilt
I like spending time with you, but I need some space to focus on other things. Let’s plan a few times each week instead of every day.
F, S, A
Yelled at parent and slammed door
Goal: Repair relationship respectfully
I shouldn’t have yelled and slammed the door. I want to talk about it calmly now.
F, T, A
You yelled at and insulted your parent during a fight.
Goal: Repair the relationship with honesty and fairness.
I shouldn’t have yelled or called you names. I was angry, but I want to handle it differently next time.
F, T, A
Partner wants you to do something you don’t want to do.
Goal: Say no assertively while maintaining self-respect and protecting values
I’m not comfortable doing that. I want to respect my boundaries, and I hope you understand.
S,T,F
You need an assignment extension.
Goal: Ask assertively without excuses
I’ve been overwhelmed this week. Could I have one more day to finish?
T, F, A
A friend is always late or cancels plans and you want to address it.
Goal: Communicate expectations fairly
I like hanging out, but when plans change last minute it’s hard for me. Can we stick to plans or let each other know earlier?
F, S, T
Teen refuses to do chores.
Goal: Enforce rules respectfully
I understand you don’t feel like doing your chores, but I expect them done because it’s part of living in this household.
F, S, T
You snuck out at night without telling your parent.
Goal: Admit the behavior and rebuild trust.
I went out without permission. I know that broke your trust, and I want to earn it back by being honest.
T, S, F
Partner is dismissive or invalidating your feelings.
Goal: Stand up for your feelings respectfully
When you dismiss how I feel, it hurts. I want us to talk about my feelings seriously.
F, S, T
Classmate copies your homework.
Goal: Assert ownership respectfully
I’m not okay with you copying my work. Let’s talk to the teacher if you need help.
T, S, F
Your friend keeps borrowing your things and you want to set a limit.
Goal: Protect belongings respectfully
I don’t mind lending sometimes, but I need you to ask first before taking anything.
F, S, T
Teen lies about homework or grades.
Goal: Address dishonesty without shaming
I know you didn’t finish your homework. I need you to be honest with me so we can figure out a plan together.
F, S, T
You got into a physical fight with a peer at school.
Goal: Admit your role, repair harm, and communicate respectfully
I got into a fight, and that was wrong. I want to take responsibility and make sure it doesn’t happen again.
F, S, T
You want to talk to your partner about your boundaries, values, and the future of the relationship
Goal: Communicate clearly and assertively about your needs, limits, and expectations
I want to talk about what’s important to me in this relationship — my values, boundaries, and what I hope for in the future. I want us to be honest and clear with each other.
F,S,T
You skipped class without telling anyone.
Goal: Take responsibility, tell the truth, and problem-solve.
I skipped because I was overwhelmed and didn’t want to face people. I should’ve told someone. I want to work on asking for help instead.
F,S,T