FAST
Why do we practice FAST?
It helps you keep your self-respect during difficult conversations.
What is the purpose of DEARMAN?
It helps you ask for what you want or say no clearly and effectively.
True or false: Boundaries are limits that help protect your time, energy, and emotional safety.
True
You say no to cheating on a test because it goes against your values.
Which skill are you using?
FAST
True or False: If someone gets upset when you set a boundary, it means the boundary was wrong.
False: Boundaries are valid regardless if the other person agrees with it, or respects it
What does the F in FAST stand for?
be Fair (to yourself and others)
Name any two letters in DEARMAN and what they stand for.
Examples: Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Mindful, Appear confident, Negotiate
Which is an example of a healthy boundary?
A) Ignoring someone instead of responding
B) “I am not in the mood to talk about that right now.”
C) “You need to stop talking."
B) “I am not in the mood to talk about that right now.”
You say no to cheating on a test because it goes against your values.
Which skill are you using?
DEARMAN
True or False: Yelling at someone is more likely to make them change their behavior than asking nicely.
False: People feel threatened when they're yelled at and become defensive, resulting in them experiencing lower motivation to change their behavior.
Which statement shows using FAST?
A) “I’m going to be honest, even though this is uncomfortable.”
B) “I’ll just say yes so they don’t get mad.”
C) “I'm not going to worry about it, they shouldn't be this mad."
A) “I’m going to be honest, even though this is uncomfortable.”
Which part of DEARMAN focuses on staying on topic and not getting distracted?
Mindful
What can happen when boundaries are too permeable?
Examples: Burnout, resentment, being taken advantage of
You tell a friend you need space from late-night texts.
Which skill is this?
Boundaries
Why does DBT teach multiple interpersonal skills rather than just one?
Different situations need different tools to be effective and maintain relationships
Why is apologizing when you didn’t do anything wrong a FAST violation?
It reduces self-respect and reinforces unhealthy patterns
Why is Assert different from being aggressive?
Assertive communication is clear and respectful, not attacking
What can happen when boundaries are too rigid?
Examples: Isolation, relationship strain, lack of connection
Your friend keeps asking you to come over; however, you're not in the mood.
Practicing FAST, how might you set a boundary with them?
Example: "I'm not available to come over right now."
True or false: Boundaries should be used to change other people's behavior.
False: Boundaries are used to set limits for yourself in relationships. You cannot inherently change another person's behavior, but you can advocate for your own needs, protect your own space, and make appropriate requests
Give an example of how someone could use FAST when pressured by friends.
Examples: Saying no calmly, sticking to values, not over-explaining
When might Negotiation be helpful in DEARMAN?
When both people need flexibility to reach a compromise
Name one reason setting boundaries can feel hard.
Examples: Fear of conflict, guilt, peer pressure, wanting approval
Your aunt keeps trying to give you a hug; however, you are not comfortable with being hugged.
Practicing FAST, how might you set a boundary with her?
Example: "I wanted to let you know that I am not a hugging type of person."
How do GIVE, THINK, and FAST work together to improve relationships?
GIVE keeps interactions gentle, THINK ensures perspective-taking, and FAST maintains our self-respect. All of the skills together reduce conflict and improving communication.