Dad Jokes
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Which TV dad worked at a shoe store and had a daughter named Kelly?
Al Bundy (Married with Children)
What is the process of unclogging a drain called?
Snaking
Which U.S. president was the first to commemorate Father’s Day?
Woodrow Wilson (Richard Nixon signed a law establishing Father’s Day as a national holiday in 1972)
What song did John Lennon famously write for his son Sean?
"Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)"
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
Which animated dad works at a nuclear power plant?
Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)
True or False? Women require special tools.
False. A quality tool, hand or powered, should be designed to be used by anyone
What percentage of men in the U.S. are fathers?
About 61.6% of men (74.7 million men) age 15 and over are fathers, according to U.S. Census data
How many children did Margaritaville singer Jimmy Buffett have?
3: Savannah, Delaney, and Cameron
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up.
This dad was married to Lucy.
Ricky Ricardo (I Love Lucy)
What is the proper way to lift a heavy object to avoid injury? (How should you bend?)
Bend your knees, not your back
Les Colley holds the Guinness World record for the oldest legal father. How old was he?
Les Colley had a son at the age of 92 years and 10 months.
Which U.S. president fathered the most children?
John Tyler, who had 15 children
How do you organize a space party?
You planet.
This sheriff and single dad raised his son Opie in the town of Mayberry.
Andy Taylor. (The Andy Griffith Show)
What is the ideal angle to cut wood for a picture frame corner?
45 degrees
What’s the average age of a first-time dad in the U.S.?
30.9 years old, according to one study published in 2017.
Who were the first father and son to play for the same NBA team at the same time?
LeBron and Bronny James, who both played for the Lakers in the 2023-24 season
Why did the math book look sad?
Because it had too many problems.
This TV dad, played by Robert Young, was originally heard on radio before transitioning to television in 1954, portraying a calm and rational father of three in a Midwestern town.
Jim Anderson (Father Knows Best)
This type of electrical switch configuration allows two switches to control the same light from different locations.
A three-way switch
What percentage of men in the U.S. are stay at home dads?
7%, according to data from Pew Research Center
Which five U.S. presidents were not fathers? (Name one!)
George Washington, James Madison, Andrew Jackson, James Polk, and James Buchanan