I'm an irish twin
Who is Bamber Koletsos!
A 45 year old man is contributing $20,500/year to his 401k on a pretax basis and is invested in a TDF.
What is investments! That goofy goober has never even heard of modern portfolio theory!
"Well guys it looks like we've got some wood to chop"
Who is Jo-Nathan Colquitt!
The Dave Portnoy award for degenerative gambling
First day of freshmen year I was 4'11 and a teacher asked me if I got on the high school bus by mistake
Who is Matt Kenny!
A 23 year old with very low income, has a Roth IRA and a brokerage account each with under $10k and wants to "retire early."
This was just describing me and I wanted the free advice
"I guess my biggest advice is just... stop being a p***y"
Who is Chandler (Chan-Daddy) Dutram!
Munchies Award
Who is Tyler Trunko!
I used to have rainbow colored hair
Who is AJ Linn!
A 30 year old electrical engineer makes $200k a year and has significant positive cash flow
What is tax planning (as we set up a lovely IUL pitch)!
"Your lives are miserable, enjoy your misery"
Who is Gino Lavorgna!
"Biggest frat star" award
Who is "SOHO" Nicky Nelz!
I've cried at the ending of books I got from the library
Who is Jonathan Colquitt!
A 55 year old has $700k in their TSP and plans on living off of military retirement, disability, and SS and leaving the money to their kids.
What is tax planning or RMD planning!
"Goodbye"
Who is Loren, Jake, and Garrett!
"Who gives a s**t about the glass" negative nelly award
Who is Connor "Happy" Joy!
I was arrested for climbing a red light and bribed the police officers to let me go
Who is Sebastien Gilles!
A 70 year old woman has 800k in her 401k and wants $48,000/year in retirement.
What is solving the income gap (as we set up a Pac pitch)!
"You know, you'll never succeed in this career if you don't fully commit"
(Said to individual leaving the office at 4:57pm)
Who is Gino Lavorgna!
The most handsome advisor in the office
Who is Joseph Zeidan! (But we all look a little better in the absence of Garrett)