Say What You Want!
This is how you should end any criticism to guide children toward better behavior.
What is "End with a positive statement of expected behavior"?
Criticism should be directed at this, not at the child.
What is "The behavior"?
This is essential to all learning and must be used with children.
What is "Repetition"?
The most powerful form of motivation comes from here.
What is "Self-motivation"?
Before telling your children what to do, you must do this first.
What is "Decide exactly what you want"?
You can often do this while correcting behavior to reinforce the child’s value.
What is "Give a compliment"?
If your child doesn’t respond after three repetitions, you should do this.
What is "Find a new way to say it"?
Even if you say the right thing, this is what truly shapes your child’s motivation.
What is "What they say to themselves"?
Kids need this to translate your words into action—they don't automatically understand.
What is "Clear, specific, behavioral language"?
Doing this takes care and planning but strengthens both behavior and self-esteem.
What is "Criticizing the performance, not the person"?
Changing this can make your message finally get through.
What is "Your words"?
One of the best ways to help children develop self-motivation.
What is "Teaching values clarification and goal setting"?
A helpful addition to your behavioral request that explains the benefits to the child.
What is "A sales pitch showing the positive outcome for the child"?
This phrase emphasizes separating behavior from identity when criticizing.
What is "Criticize the behavior, not the person"?
Even when frustrated, this must stay out of your communication.
What is "Anger"?
Love is not just something you say; it’s something you do. This statement proves that.
What is "You can fake like you care, but you can't fake being there"?
This phrase summarizes the principle of giving clear behavioral instructions.
What is "Tell your kids what you want"?
This communication skill helps ensure correction does not turn into shame.
What is "Use positive reinforcement while giving correction"?
This phrase reflects the need for flexibility when repeating requests.
What is "If it's not working, say it differently"?
This is the hardest but most crucial time to express love to your child.
What is "When you're most frustrated and feel least able to say it"?