Flexible or Stuck
You want to play basketball, but someone else is using the ball. You decide to play something else while you wait.
Flexible Thinking!
You found another way to have fun.
You want to play outside, but it's raining. What is another fun thing you could do?
Play a game inside, draw, or ask to go outside later.
“I can't do this!”
“I can try!” or “I can ask for help!”
You want to sit in the cozy corner, but someone else is sitting there. What would you do?
Ask if you can have a turn later or choose another seat.
Your teacher changes the class schedule. You get upset and say, “I'm not doing anything until we go back to the old schedule!”
Stuck Thinking!
You're having a hard time trying the new plan.
You want to use the blue marker, but someone else is using it. What could you do?
Ask to use it when they're done or choose another color for now.
“I have to win this game!”
“I want to win, but it's okay if I lose.”
You're working on a drawing, but you make a mistake and want to rip it up. What would you do?
Take a breath, try to fix it, or turn the mistake into something new.
You lose a game you really wanted to win. You feel disappointed, but you tell your friend, “Good game! Maybe I'll win next time.”
Flexible Thinking!
You can feel upset and still make a good choice.
You want to play a game with your friend, but they want to play something different.
Take turns choosing games or find a game you both like.
“If I make a mistake, I'm bad at everything!”
“Everyone makes mistakes. I can learn and try again!”
You're excited for a fun activity, but your teacher says you have to finish your work first. You start feeling angry.
STOP: Take a breath. THINK: Remember the activity can happen after your work. TRY: Ask for help finishing or make a plan to complete it.
You planned to sit next to your best friend at lunch, but someone else is sitting there. You refuse to sit anywhere else, even when your friend offers you another seat.
Stuck Thinking!
You're having trouble finding another way to sit with your friend.
You are excited to go to the gym, but your teacher says the gym is closed today. What are TWO other things you could do?
Ask if you can go another day, choose another activity, or find another place to move your body.
“My friend doesn't want to play my game. They're being mean!”
“My friend might want to do something different. We can take turns!”
You've had a hard day. You ask an adult for a break, but they say you can't take one in your usual spot right now. You feel very upset. How could you use flexible thinking while still asking for what you need?
Explain that you need a break, ask why the spot isn't available, and work with the adult to find another safe, quiet place. You can still speak up for your needs!
You ask to take a break because you're feeling overwhelmed, but the room you usually use isn't available. You feel frustrated and ask an adult if there's another quiet place you can go.
Flexible Thinking!
You still asked for what you needed, but found another way to get help.
You're feeling upset and want to take a break from class, but there is no one to take you. What could you do to help yourself feel better?
Use a coping skill while waiting, and ask if you could have one when someone is available.
“My teacher changed our plans! This is the worst day ever, and nothing will make it better!”
“I'm upset that our plans changed, but I can still find something good about today.”
You're playing a game with your friends, but you keep losing. You start feeling really frustrated and want to quit. Your friends want you to keep playing.
Take a deep breath, remind yourself that it's okay to lose, and decide whether you want to try again or take a short break.