FLORIDA MAN TELLS DEPUTY HE VAPES THC TO PREPARE HIMSELF FOR:
a. his job as a garbage collector
b. the return of Jesus
c. his nightshift at the graveyard
b. the return of Jesus
Apalachicola
a·puh·la·chuh·kow·luh
If an unmarried woman in Florida parachutes on this day of the week she will be fined or arrested.
Sunday
True or False:
Florida is the state with the highest number of amusement & theme parks in the US.
False
California has 785
Florida has 494
FLORIDA WOMAN PULLED ______ OUT OF HER PANTS DURING TRAFFIC STOP
a. turtles
b. sugar gliders
c. alligator
Ariel Michelle Marchan-Le Quire pulled a foot-long alligator from her pants during a traffic stop.
She also had in her possession 41 turtles in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles backpack.
FLORIDA MAN GETS BEAT UP BY ________
(hint: HOLIDAY MASCOT)
THE EASTER BUNNY
Weeki Wachee
wee·kee wa·chee
It is illegal to ___ in any public place in the state of Florida – but only after 6:00 PM.
a. fart
b. dance
c. skip
a. fart
25 feet off the coast of Key Largo, FL lies a giant 9 ton sunken statue of:
a. a mermaid
b. Mickey Mouse
c. Jesus Christ
c. Jesus Christ with outstretched arms
FLORIDA MAN BREAKS INTO HOME.
"‘My ____ broke into your house, mister, and I had to go in and get her.’
What did he blame?
a. his goat
b. his horse
c. his pig
b. his horse
Florida HOA president arrested 2nd time for:
a. public intoxication & indecent exposure
b. installing hidden video cameras
c. renting condos for gambling purposes
b. installing a hidden video camera inside a condo without the owner's permission
Loxahatchee
laak·suh·ha·chee
In Florida, failure to tell your neighbor ______ is illegal:
a. their house is on fire
b. their horse escaped
c. his wife is cheating
a. their house is on fire
Which of the following is NOT a city in Florida:
- Golf, FL
- Couch, FL
- Needmore, FL
- Elder, FL
- Dogtown, FL
- Christmas, FL
- Niceville, FL
Elder is NOT in FL
Elder is a city in Georgia near Athens
Florida Man charged with assault for tossing live ____ into Wendy's drive-thru window
a. alligator
b. opossum
c. snake
a. alligator
On 7/27 this Florida man was charged with a DUI at Walmart. What was he driving? (Hint: NOT A CAR)
motorized shopping cart
Aaron Gregory was charged with a DUI after running into shelves and nearly mowing down Walmart customers.
Immokalee
uh·maa·kuh·lee
In Tampa, It Is Illegal to Eat _____ Cheese After 6 pm on a Sunday.
a. cream
b. cottage
c. blue
b. cottage cheese
Which of the following was NOT invented in Florida:
- sunscreen
- air conditioning machine
- refrigeration
- windshield wipers
- famous amos cookies
- gatorade
windshield wipers
they were invented in Alabama in 1903 by Mary Anderson
Florida man jumps into crocodile pit, gets bit, claims he was:
a. drugged
b. held captive
c. possessed
b. held captive
'I was held hostage in a place that a pool with gators.'
Florida Man tries to break into US Space Force base to warn about:
a. alien invasion
b. alien abduction
c. alien-dragon war
c. alien-dragon war
Corey Johnson has been arrested after he attempted to break into a Space Force base using a stolen car to warn the US government about an imminent war between aliens and Chinese dragons.
Wewahitchka
wee·wuh·hich·kuh
In Daytona Beach, the molestation of _____ is banned.
a. coconuts
b. trash cans
c. shopping carts
b. trash cans
In Key West: _____ are considered a 'protected species'
a. cats
b. manatees
c. chickens
c. chickens
Florida Man steals alligator from golf course, tries ‘teaching it a lesson’ by:
a. running it over with his golf cart
b. throwing it onto the roof of a bar
c. shooting the alligator in the tail
b. throwing it onto the roof of a bar
William "Bubba" Hodge told police officers he was “teaching it a lesson” when he tried to throw a live alligator he had stolen from a miniature golf course onto the roof of a beachside cocktail lounge.