Why Forgiveness
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_______ are perhaps the biggest roadblocks to recovery.
What is ...
Resentments
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Forgiving yourself is an important act of moving forward and ____ yourself from the past. It's also a way of ____ your health and general well-being.
What is ...
Releasing & Protecting
Step 5: Perfectionism can cause you to hold too high a standard for your own behaviour, a standard that you wouldn't hold anyone else to. And if your perfectionism causes you to be too hard on yourself, you are caught in a situation where self-forgiveness is very hard to do because it seems like acceptance of a substandard you. Removing yourself from this vicious cycle of thinking by "welcoming imperfection". It allows you to accept that all human beings are imperfect, and you are human, and impefect too.
This step is called?
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Step 5: Reflect on why you're trying to hold yourself to a higher standard than anyone else around you.
Step 1: Acknowledge the hurt. Who hurt you and why did they do it? What is the context of the situation, and how long ago did this happen?
What is this step called?
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STEP 1: ACKNOWLEDGE
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Forgiveness also allows you to live in the _____ instead of the ____, which means that you can move into the future with a renewed sense of purpose focused on change, improvement, and building on experience rather than being held back by past hurts.
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Present & Past
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If we continue to live in the world feeling ____ towards either ourselves or others, it is likely going to keep us from feeling a sense of contentment, happiness, and general well-being.
What is ...
Anger
Step 1: You do not need forgiveness for being you. Forgiving yourself is about targeting the specific things that you feel bad about, not about the person you are.
This forgiveness technique allows you to acknolwdge that you're a good person, faults and all. It does not mean that you ignore the faults or stop trying to improve yourself, but it does mean that you value yourself about those elements and cease to allow your faults to halt your progression in life.
This step is called?
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Step 1: Practice Self-Acceptance
Step 6: If you are stuck in a spiral of self-hate and never feelings good enough because of things that were once said to you, self-forgiveness is essential. You have no control over what other people do and say, and many things are said and done unconsciously, often motivated by the other person's own shortcomings.
Living your life in self-loathing because you don't feel you lived up to someone else's expectations is based on making too much of another's person's mixed-up feelings. Forgive yourself for trying to live a life according to other's expectations and start making the changed needed to follow your own purpose instead.
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Step 6: Let go of other peoples expectations FOR YOU!!!
STEP 2: We don’t have to forgive anyone. We don’t have to forgive someone until we are ready, even if that person apologizes or attempts to make amends. Forgiving another person is a free choice. It loses its value when we think we "should" or "must" do it. Forgiving is right when it is something we want to do.
Consider how the hurt and pain has affected you. The word “consider” is key here because it involves thinking before deciding. Before you decide on whether or not you will forgive this person, consider the negative feelings you’ve acquired since the incident.
This step is called?
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STEP 2: CONSIDER
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Living in a state of being unable to forgive requires a lot of _____. You are constantly chewed up by fear of your vulnerability, burning with anger with the source of pain, and living with the constancy of sadness, hurt, and blame. This energy deserves to be put to better use, so that your creativity and abilities are fed, not your negativity.
What is ...
Energy
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Anger produces stress on our P_____, Ps_______ and S_____ selves and this causes human beings to try and numb out from these uncomfortable feelings.
What is ...
Physical, Psychological and Spiritual selves.
Step 2: Seeing forgiveness in a positive light. If you're bothered that forgiving suggests that you shouldn't experience strong feelings such as resentment and anger, try viewing it as the change to feel strong positive feelings, such as joy, generosity, and faith in yourself. Switching it to thinking about what you'd gain rather than what you'd lose has the benefit of keeping you positive while minimizing the negative emotions.
This step is called?
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Step 2: Understanding the importance of forgiveness
Step 7: There is a frequent misunderstanding that forgiveness equates to forgetting or condoning. This misunderstanding can lead a person to feel that it is not right to forgive oneself, because in the process of doing do, it's akin to an act of forgetting or condoning the past wrong.
It's perfectly fine to say: "I am not proud of what I've done (or how I've devalued myself) but I'm moving on for the sake of my health, my well-being, and those around me".
Affirming this is health and allows you to break the cycle of self-harm you've fallen into because you openly acknowledge what was wrong and the intention to set it right from now on.
This step is called?
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Step 7: STOP punishing yourself
STEP 3: Accept that you cannot change the past. No matter how much you wish this pain could be reversed, it’s time to admit to yourself that your anger toward the person won’t redeem what they have done. It is during this step that you must thoughtfully consider whether or not you want to forgive.
STEP 4: Determine whether or not you will forgive. This is when the forgiveness process will either begin or end. This decision should not be made lightly, as it will determine the future of your relationship with this person. It’s important to consider the pros and cons of forgiving, just as you did when you were forgiving yourself.
These steps are called?
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STEP 3: ACCEPT & STEP 4: DETERMINE
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Forgiving doesn't equate with ____. You're entitled to learn by experience and be guided by that experience. Its about leaving aside the resentment and self-inflicted berating that come with remembering.
What is ...
Forgetting
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The final stage in order to fully resolve resentments is through the process of _______.
What is ...
Forgiveness
Step 3: Not only do you allow yourself to remain stuck in the past, but not forgiving yourself takes a huge toll on your emotional and physical health. Inability to forgive is sourced from anger and resentment, two emotions that can wreak havoc with your health.
Studies have shown that people stuck in constant anger are more prone to disease and illness than people who can learn to forgive both themselves and others.
This step is called?
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Step 3: Take into account the challenges raised by not forgiving yourself
Step 8: As part of forgiving yourself, it’s usually not enough to simply resolve to forgive yourself. Doing things to confirm the forgiveness process will help you to realize your self-forgiveness and to give you a new sense of purpose.
Some of the things you might like to consider doing include:
• Taking up meditation
• Affirm your self-worth
• Keep a diary
• Seek therapy
• If you have a faith, draw strength from its teachings to support you
This step is called?
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Step 8: THINK ABOUT WHAT WILL IMPROVE IN YOUR LIFE IF YOU CAN RELEASE YOURSELF
STEP 5: Repair the relationship with the person who wronged you. Before any an act of forgiveness or reconciliation, rebuild the connection you used to have with this person.
Note that you are repairing the relationship, not restoring it. It will likely take more time for the relationship to return to normal, whatever that may look like to you. Acts of repairing can include kind words, simple gestures or even gifts.
STEP 6: Learn what forgiveness means to you. Up until now, you’ve probably thought that forgiveness is more for their benefit, not yours.
But once the relationship is on the path to restoration, and you’ve given yourself time to accept the reality of the past, it’s clear that forgiveness is a way for you to find closure. Closure that means something.
These steps is called?
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STEP 5: REPAIR & STEP 6: LEARN
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For every person who has been hard on you, remember that someone was hard on them. B____ the c____ of harshness by being k_____ to yourself, not trying to live up to someone else's expectations FOR YOU!
What are ...
Break the Chain & Kind
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Individuals who have suffered from addiction often find themselves in a position of needing to forgive others and, perhaps even more so, are often the in a place of needing to forgive _______.
What is ...
Themselves
Step 4: Instead of trying to avoid facing these negative emotions, accept them as part of what is fueling your lack of self-forgiveness. A problem named is a problem ready to be tackled.
This step is called?
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Step 4: Accept your emotions
STEP 9: If you’re liable to thinking that you’re unable to "get to" self-forgiveness, you may be sabotaging your chances of even starting the forgiveness journey. It helps to accept that forgiveness is an ongoing process and that you'll have your up days and your down days, as with most feelings and experiences in life.
This step is called?
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STEP 9: SEE FORGIVENESS AS A JOURNEY, NOT A DESTINATION
STEP 7: Forgive the person who wronged you. In some cases, this will be silent. You may be compelled to verbally forgive the person, even if you do not expect a kind response, but if you have followed through on the previous steps, then their reaction won’t really matter. What will matter is that you have found a way to let go and move on.
This step is called?
What is ...
STEP 7: FORGIVE
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Forgiveness is a process of M______ in which you continue to remember what happened and you do not condone something that was "wrong" as suddenly "right".
What is ...
Mindfulness