I can cook for myself, MOM!
House Broken
You are grown, if you can explain why this is funny.
Get Your $ Right
High School Exit Exam
100
These are the three ingredients you need to make scrambled eggs.
Eggs, Milk, and Butter (or oil)
100
What is this thing?
That would be your furnace.
100
Knock Knock
Who is there?
Rhetorical Question.
Rhetorical question who?
....
A rhetorical question is one that is made for effect-- it isn't meant to be answered. So, not answering the last part of the knock-knock underscores the definition.
100
What is the difference between a W4 and a W2 tax form?
Simply put, W4 = before taxes; W2 = after taxes.
An employer gives you a W4 at the beginning of the job for you to instruct them on how much to withhold. A W2 is the report that they give you about how it went that year. YOU'LL NEED YOUR W2 TO GET A TAX REFUND (WHEN THE GOV OWES YOU $$)!
100
Math:
Everybody knows that you cannot divide by zero. But why can't you?
It is a contradiction in terms: the process of dividing assumes an action. But 0 is the same as "no times".
6 bananas divided into 2 parts has 3 bananas in each part (6/2=3). 6 bananas divided into just 1 part has all 6 in that part (6/1=6). But what are you actually doing to the bananas when you are told to divide them into no parts? Any "thing" in existence is already in "one part". You can't undo it; it is a brute fact.
200
Which is cheaper:
or
The burgers:
vs
$6.69 for the chips
200
Your landlord told you that your house is cold because your pilot light is out. Where do you check the pilot light?
It is located at the bottom of your furnace or water heater. Usually, it has button to help light it.
200
Photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop asks "Can I take your bag?" but he says "Nah, I'm traveling light."
Gotta know that Photon isn't a proper name, it is a thing. It is word play on the definition of a photon (light is made up of photons), and the verb "traveling light" (traveling with no bag).
200
What is the average cost of subscriptions to streaming services that the average college kid carries?
According to an Ohio State University article on the topic, it is about $90/month.
200
History:
Who did the US fight in the War of 1812?
For double: what were the fighting over?
The British.
For double:
The British was basically messing with the US Navy: it tried to conscript our sailors into service against the French, they wouldn't let us trade with whom we wanted, AND they were supporting the Native Americans who were resisting the US gov.
300
Which one is better for you?
WHEAT!
Whole grain has fiber, vitamins, and doesn't cause spikes in blood sugar. 
300
You are renting a house with roommates. One hangs up a goofy sign right by the toilet bowl: "We aim to please. You aim, too, please." The nail he uses splits the water line behind the toilet. Inside the wall you can hear it gushing everywhere. How do you shut off the water?
Run to the basement, find the water main. Turn off the water to the whole house there.
300
What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?
Beer.
It is both word play (square, root = square root) and a sort of weird math problem: The punchline rests on "beer" being shorter than "root beer", which is sorta what happens to numbers when you take their square root. Of course, it doesn't make sense to talk about the multiples of root beer--it's just a joke, after all.
300
True or False: having a credit card in college is a recipe for disaster---DON'T DO IT!
False: you need to establish a credit history.
Have a card, buy only gas with it, set an auto-payment from your checking account. This will begin to create your credit score as someone who pays their bills.
300
Science:
The brakes go out in Mr. F's van at 20 mph, and he tries to save his baby by flinging her out of the backdoor.
True or False: she'll land just fine he can throw her at 20 mph (excluding bumps/scratches).
True: the speed in the other direction with cancel her forward progress, and she would land as gently as gently as if he were standing still.
400
About how much money (answer must be within $50) will Jordan need to set aside per year to support his snack habit when he is not mooching off his parents?
(assuming he has 1 bag of chips, 1 drink, and 1 beef stick everyday.
About $3,285:
So...9x365 = 3285
400
You are renting an older house (cheaper rent). You plug in this toaster from a garage-sale that said "European, 240V". It instantly blows the fuse, and the lights go out. What do you do?
Find the circuit breaker panel (usually in the basement), and see if the breaker flipped. If so, click it back over.
400
Tunafish.
Because it "nafish" is funny.
400
What is the 50/30/20 budgeting rule for college kids?
Save 50%, Spend 30%, Save/Debt 20%
400
English:
Is Shakespeare being nice here or not?
For double: explain each one.
1. I do desire that we may be better strangers. (As You Like It)
2. I do wish thou were a dog, that I might love thee. (Timon of Athens)
Not nice: these are sick burns.
1. Translation: It would be best if we knew each other less.
2. Translation: Let’s face it, a dog more lovable than you.
500
You are using the stovetop to pan fry something. It gets to hot and bursts into flame. What do you do?
a. Extinguish the flame with a glass of water
b. Throw a towel on the fire.
c. Throw the pan outside.
C. Throw the pan outside
because water with vaporize and cause the burning oil to explode AND a towel might not extinguish it but only make the fire worse (if you had a lid, that would be best).
500
You try your new window AC unit, but the lights go out. You check the breaker, but nothing is flipped. You call the landlord, he says the breaker and outlets are all new. What most likely happened, and what do you do about it?
Most likely, a GFCI tripped in an outlet on the same circuit. Go in the room (and maybe the next room over, too) click them all back to normal, and see if the lights come back on.
500
“The old man the boat.”
Is it a sentence? If "yes", explain.
Yes - It means the ones who operate the boat are old.
500
Mr. F went to college 20 years ago. How much would he have today if he cut dining out from 2x/week to 1x/week, and then put the savings ($50/month) in a Roth IRA (10% annual return)?
$35,000 - after 20 yrs
$100,000 - after 30 yrs
$280,000 - after 40 yrs
500
Advisement: Mr. F is a wealth of knowledge, but there is one phrase that he shared that he repeated enough to remember. What is it?
"You gotta save up those F-words. Save 'em up."
(If you want to be taken seriously, you shouldn't swear so much. It dilutes the importance of the F-bomb when it is overused. It is like the Boy-Who-Cried-Wolf....)
