Smart Person Things
This mathematician dropped an apple on his head and accidentally invented the class that ruins everyone’s GPA.
Who is Newton?
This is the exact moment every family argues: when someone says, “Let’s all go around and say what we’re thankful for.”
What is the start of chaos?
This amazing group is responsible for hosting tonight’s Friendsgiving dinner.
What is Sky Academy?
This major insists they’re “building an app,” but really they’ve only made the login screen.
What is computer science?
This tool is the last stop students visit before submitting an assignment, whispering “please sound like I wrote this at 3 a.m.”
What is Humanize?
This 18th-century intellectual movement emphasized reason, science, and individual rights, and heavily influenced the American and French Revolutions.
What is the Enlightenment?
This dish is 99% marshmallows and 1% actual vegetable, and nobody knows why it’s allowed at dinner.
What is sweet potato casserole?
This food, often seen on Thanksgiving tables, was introduced to Europeans by Indigenous peoples and was considered a “new world” vegetable.
What is the potato?
This major cries the most and sleeps the least, usually found in studios surrounded by models, cardboard, and iced coffee.
What is architecture?
This website magically tells you whether you still have a chance to pass the class after failing an exam.
What is a grade calculator?
This process in cellular respiration breaks down glucose into two molecules of pyruvate and produces a net gain of 2 ATP, occurring entirely in the cytosol without requiring oxygen.
What is glycolysis?
This person shows up two hours late to Thanksgiving every single year and still acts shocked the food already started.
Who is the cousin who lied about being “5 minutes away”?
This American city holds the oldest Thanksgiving parade, starting in 1920.
What is Philadelphia?
This major requires so much math that students can calculate the exact moment their will to live ran out.
What is engineering?
This is the universal group-project phrase that means “I did nothing, but I’m here for moral support.”
What is “Let me know if you need help!”?
This engineering principle states that the stress in a material is directly proportional to the strain within the material, as long as the material remains within its elastic limit.
What is Hooke’s Law?
This yearly Thanksgiving tradition is when your aunt asks about your GPA, relationships, career plan, and entire life crisis in one breath.
What is the interrogation?
This U.S. president made Thanksgiving an official national holiday in 1863 during the Civil War.
Who is Abraham Lincoln?
This major focuses on the economy as a whole: inflation, unemployment, GDP but somehow still can’t predict recessions correctly.
What is macroeconomics?
This daily academic challenge involves trying to stay alive through 180 minutes of PowerPoints, fluorescent lights, and zero brain activity.
What is lecture?
This fundamental theorem in calculus states that if a function is continuous on a closed interval and differentiable on the open interval, then there exists at least one point where the instantaneous rate of change equals the average rate of change over that interval.
What is the Mean Value Theorem?
This is the Thanksgiving dish that everyone takes a little bit of just to be polite.
What is the sad, dry turkey slice?
This holiday, closely tied to Thanksgiving and celebrated the day after, started because Philadelphia police needed a way to control crowds after the parade.
What is Black Friday?
This major explains why some people can write a perfect essay but cannot text back normally.
What is communication?
This is the dreaded time of year when every college student suddenly remembers they owe thousands of dollars and must pay it immediately.
What is registration?