Social Mysteries
What is a social mystery?
A mystery about other people that is puzzling and sometimes difficult to understand.
What is attention?
Focusing on something or putting your mind on it.
What is topic-missing?
Missing the main point or main topic in a conversation and responding to a small detail instead.
What is mood missing?
Missing the feeling or mood that someone is trying to share.
What is a prime suspect in a social mystery?
The specific problem that is causing difficulty in a social situation.
What is one way that we show people we are paying attention?
Look at them with our eyes, face them with our bodies, respond nonverbally, give answers that follow what they said
How do you identify the main topic of someone's story?
Ask yourself, "is there something they say that seems most important?," "do they keep coming back to something?," "does something that they say have more emotion?"
How do you identify the mood of what someone is sharing?
listen for emotional words, look at their facial expression and tone of voice
Name one example of a prime suspect.
Attention
Mood-Missing
Topic-Missing
Why is attention important in a social situation?
Allows us to gather the facts, learn things, let people know we're interested in them, let people know that what they're saying is important
What is the main topic of this story?
“Beth went to the beach yesterday to go surfing with her new surfboard. It was a really hot day, and she got some pizza at Joe’s Pizza Shack to take with her down to the beach. But when she got down to the water, she saw this giant shark chasing someone just off shore, but before she could scream, it bit the person. An ambulance came, and fortunately the guy was not badly injured, but it was really scary. You don’t see many sharks at the beach, and she had never seen a shark outside of an aquarium or on television before. Seeing one right there where she was just about to go surfing was shocking.”
Seeing a shark attack
What is the mood of this story?
“Beth went to the beach yesterday to go surfing with her new surfboard. It was a really hot day, and she got some pizza at Joe’s Pizza Shack to take with her down to the beach. But when she got down to the water, she saw this giant shark chasing someone just off shore, but before she could scream, it bit the person. An ambulance came, and fortunately the guy was not badly injured, but it was really scary. You don’t see many sharks at the beach, and she had never seen a shark outside of an aquarium or on television before. Seeing one right there where she was just about to go surfing was shocking.”
What is one example of a social mystery?
Any story which involves people and is confusing.
What is the dot method?
When you draw a dot on your hand to remind you to pay attention.
How can you resist the urge to talk off topic?
Tell yourself a phrase over and over (ex: I'm going to listen and respond to the main topic), pause before you speak.
Why is it important to respond to the mood of a story?
It lets people know that we care about them, what they say is important, strengthens our relationships. People like for us to understand their mood more than their thoughts or ideas.