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Category 5
100
It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class!
Why is it that doctors and lawyers call what they do 'practice'?
100
You never have more hair in your nose than on your head!
Why is it great to be a woman? (no offense)
100
They know your husband is on his way to buy another!
Why do they call it a T.V. SET when you only get one?
100
The dog thinks you have bad breath!
Why is it that when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out of the window?
100
After the burger & fries, they go straight back on their diet!
Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?
200
If Insurance companies covered my useless junk it would be outside too!
Why do we leave expensive cars in the driveway and useless junk in the garage?
200
Ask Tiger Woods not me!
Why are there so many players if love is not a game?
200
A Shepherd
If we count sheep to fall asleep, what do they count?
200
Maybe they can't put 2 and 2 together to see for which lottery the numbers are!
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery' if they always know what all the lucky numbers are?
200
To hear the cars behind you brake!
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn the volume of the radio down?
300
Cause you can't get an open vault door into your handbag!
Why do banks leave vault doors open and chain the pens to the counter?
300
Because AB is used to describe 5 other things and ABBREV sounds like an accelerated muscle?
Why is 'abbreviated" such a long word?
300
Some faces and words that come out of mouths are!
Why do they call it the "Funny Bone", it sure isn't funny when you get hit on it?
300
No one will buy it if it says "CANADA OIL"!
Why do they call it "Canola" if Sunflower oil is from sunflowers, olive oil from olives and linseed oil from linseeds?
300
It must have been before they invented vending machines!
Why do they say CHANGE is INEVITABLE?
400
Not if you are the giver, so the giver got if for free!
Why do they call it a "free" gift, I thought all gifts are free?
400
A sign that 2 people can't agree what to fight about!
What is a divorce?
400
They're too stupid they won't know which way to shrink!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
400
Forgiveness is easier to get than permission!
Why do children do things that they know will get them into trouble?
400
They should be more concerned about the sudden stop of it!
Why are people so concerned about the pace of life?
500
Nobody gets out alive anyway. [No Offense]
Why shouldn't we take life seriously?
500
You are dead scared!
What happens if you get scared "half-to-death" twice in a row?
500
The tomorrow you worried about yesterday!
What is TODAY?
500
How do you know that "MONEY TALKS"?
How do you know that "MONEY TALKS"?
500

Sunny with a high of 49 and a low of 35.

What is the weather for tomorrow?

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