?
What does a house wear?
Ad-dress.
I have hundreds of wheels, but move I do not. Call me what I am; call me a lot. What am I?
A parking lot
A farmer has twenty sheep, ten pigs, and ten cows. If we call the pigs cows, how many cows will he have?
Ten cows. We can call the pigs cows, but it doesn’t make them cows.
Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football agent
Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.
What animal has three humps?
A camel that bumped its head.
I give milk and I have a horn, but I’m not a cow. What am I?
A milk truck
How does a bee get to school?
On a buzz!
Why did Tigger go to the bathroom?
He wanted to find his friend, Pooh!
What fruit can you never cheer up?
A blueberry.
What’s black, white, yellow, white and black?
Two zebras fighting over a banana.
Why did the fly never land on the computer?
He was afraid of the world wide web
What kind of running leads to walking?
Running out of gas!
I make a loud sound when I’m changing. When I do change, I get bigger but weigh less. What am I?
popcord
Mr. Blue lives in the blue house. Mr. Yellow lives in the yellow house. Mr. Black lives in the black house. Who lives in the white house?
The president!
Why do divers fall backwards into the water?
Because if they fell forward, they’d land in the boat.
What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
A spelling bee!
I Start with M, end with X, and have a never-ending amount of letters. What am I?
A mailbox
Why did the skeleton not go to the party?
Because he had no body to go with.
What can make the octopus laugh?
Ten tickles (tentacles)!
What’s the difference between Mickey Mouse and Pluto?
Pluto doesn’t have a dog.
What kind of murderer is full of fiber?
A cereal killer.
Why are As like flowers?
Because Bs come after them!
What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?
A centipede on its back!
Why do some fish live in saltwater?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze.
What’s the smallest prison in the world?
A bacterium; because it only has one cell.