Gendered Power Dynamics
Relational Health
Autonomy & Connection
Expressing Affection
Romantic Intimacy

What are some of the real life limitations to "having it all"? 

- having a partner who is unwilling/unable to pull their load.

- not wanting to ask their workplace to alleviate their load or working somewhere that is unwilling to do so.

- Feeling external pressure to be perfect in the domestic and professional realms at the same time. 


Many couples handle arguments in different ways. In a 2015 study, 24 women were interviewed and the results were the following:

19 women handled anger in alignment with gendered rules

5 women handled anger by resisting gendered rules

What do you think are some of the key differences in the way these groups dealt with their anger? 

The 5 women that resisted gendered rules for anger displayed the following behaviors: accepting anger, sharing responsibility for anger, and expressing anger directly and/or externally 

The 19 women that followed gendered rules for anger displayed the following behaviors: distancing themselves from anger, ambivalently attributing responsibility for anger, keeping anger in an indirect expression, and blaming their partner for causing their anger. 


It's your social media page(s). Should your significant other get a say in your activity? Can social media activity offer an opportunity for increased connection within the relationship? 

Several studies looked at the connection between SNS use and relationship satisfaction. Hand, Thomas, Buboltz, Deemer, and Buyanjargal (2013) found that partner intimacy mediated the negative relationship between perceived partner Facebook use and relationship satisfaction, suggesting that higher intimacy may buffer the negative influence of perceptions of one's partner using Facebook (Rus 2017). 

This same study suggested that women were more likely to become upset over likes, mutual friends with unknown connections, and seeing photos of their significant other with an attractive member of the opposite sex. 


What are some of the reasons for young couples using text messaging within their relationships?

"Coyne et al. (2011) found that the most common reasons young adults used electronic communication (including text messaging as a close second to cell phone calls) in their romantic relationships were to express affection (75%), to discuss serious issues that they felt could be confrontational (25%), and to apologize (12%). "


Contrary to popular belief, research indicates that ____ tend to fall in love faster and harder than _____, profess love earlier, and report greater happiness than _____ when receiving a declaration of love (Ackerman, Griskevicius, & Li, 2011).

men, women, women 

Hook-up culture is here. While we all might have laxer views about sex and autonomy, who is typically enjoying nights like these the most? Who is being pleasured?

While college students tend to have more progressive views on casual and non-monogamous sex, certain trends have lasted according to Heather Hensman Kettrey's 2016 article on hook-up culture. "Research has indicated that women are more likely than men to report engaging in sexual activities that serve their hookup partners’ sexual interests more than their own sexual interests." And so while no one goes home a "hoe", the heterosexual woman might go home unpleased. 

Eric & Donna have officially been dating for 3 months now and Donna is concerned that Eric hasn't brought any issues to her attention. No major ones at least. It seems she'll have to be the one to bring up "the talk." 

What does this scenario reflect?

In heterosexual relationships, maintain the relational health is typically considered the woman's job. 

In this pattern, one partner feels distant and tries to close the distance by engaging in intimate talk, and the other partner withdraws from a degree of closeness that stifles his or her need for autonomy.

What are the reasons for relationship conversation in the feminine speech community?

to prevent problems from arising within the relationship and maintain the health of the relationship

According to your book, what are some typical differences in the way men and women express love?

Men tend to express love in more impulsive and sexualized ways than women, whose styles of loving are more prag- matic and friendship-focused. For instance, men may see love as taking trips to romantic places, spontaneously making love, and surprising their partners. Women more typically think of extended conversations, sharing deep feelings, and physical contact that isn’t necessarily sexual. (Burchell & Ward, 2011)

What is the difference between the types of housework men typically do compared to the types of domestic labor women typically do?

Men typically make contributions that are sporadic, variable, and flexible in timing (e.g., mowing the lawn), the tasks women typically do are repetitive, routine, and constrained by deadlines (preparing dinner, homework help, etc.)

Men also tend to engage with children in more sporadic ways. Who took you to the zoo or to ride go-karts? 

When trying to conceive, if the couple finds it difficult to achieve success, who is most likely to receive medical intervention?

According to the book, although men are the sole or contributing cause to 40% of all infertility cases, yet almost all medical intervention procedures/therapies are designed to treat women. 

What is the danger in misinterpretations of the demand-withdraw pattern?
Masculine individuals tend to find their (often) feminine counterparts to be impeding on their personal space while feminine individuals often find their masculine counterparts to be falling out of love. Both of these are erroneous. 
Which view of love-giving does our culture tend to have a bias toward?
Feminine views of offering love. 

What role does sexual desire play in relationships for women? for men? What does it mean if your partner doesn't express a sexual desire for you? 

Women tend to correlate their partner's sexual desire as indicative of their interest in the relationship. 

Men utterly value women's sexual faithfulness and so his partner's spike in sexual desire might make him worry that she is also exhibiting the same lust with other men. 


Who is expected to take the lead in early adolescent (11-13) relationships? Taking the lead here means asking the other person out. 

Boys. "Because the norm that girls should not take direct initiatives to start a relationship, and boys should, both sexes uphold the existence of stereotypical gender roles that ascribe more power to boys." 

Ultimately, this makes the boy continue to feel as if he has more of the power in the relationship because he had to begin it at all. 


What term did Arlie Hochschild coin that refers to the extra domestic labor that women typically do? 

The Second Shift. 

Mothers with college educations spend an average of 21.2 hours a week with their children and mothers with less education spend 15.2 hours. How do you think this might impact the relationship? 

Why might older couples (65-90) prefer to live apart together (LAT)?
Women feel as if this will relieve them of some of the stereotypical obligations they might have as a wife. It can relieve them of the duty to care for "a sick old man". Having their own home gives these women a greater sense of autonomy. 

Gay and lesbian couples tend to ______ about how to communicate affection. 

share perspectives OR agree

What type of relationships tend to have the most equality of all relationships? 
Lesbian relationships tend to be high in emotionality, disclosure, and support. Also highly likely that these relationships will be monogamous. 
Yaritza is married to Adan, and they have 2 children together. Although Adan might notice it is time for an annual check-up, it is typically Yaritza that must schedule the appointment and remember to follow through when the day comes. It is her job to remind Adan when the yard needs to be cut and that he has to pick his mother up from the airport when she comes to visit next month. In this relationship, Yaritza bears the brunt of the ___________.
Psychological responsibility 
How does porn fit into romantic relationships? How does this fit from a gendered perspective?

Studies suggested that coupled men who watch porn might be associated with"lower sexual and relationship fulfillment" while coupled women who watch porn often feel "increased sexual and relational fulfillment." 

In relationships, if both parties are involved in watching porn, then there is potential for positive sexual health while just one partner watching indicates sexual dissatisfaction. 


Janelle says: I don’t know why straight women put up with partners who don’t work on their relationship. Angie and I both invest a lot of time and emotion in taking care of our relationship because it matters to both of us. I talk to straight friends and hear them complaining about how their partners never even notice the relationship. I would never settle for that.

What is this an example of?



Bryana is upset with her boyfriend, Chris, because he washed her car for Valentine's Day. Chris is now upset with Bryana because she is unappreciative of the fact that he washed AND waxed her entire car for Valentine's Day. Where does the issue lie here? Who was in the wrong?

There is no right or wrong per say. They was these two individuals receive love are unique. Bryana might identify with a different love language than Chris. 

What are the 4 dimensions of long-term love relationships? 

1. Modes of expressing care

2. Needs for autonomy + connections 

3. Responsibility for relational maintenance 

4. Power

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