Concision/
Redundancy
Redundancy
Make the sentence less redundant/more concise.
Sentence: I’m going to personally attend the meeting myself.
I’m going to personally attend the meeting.
Delete "myself"
What word(s) need to be capitalized?
Sentence: Taylor swift's current world tour is the highest grossing concert tour of all time.
Capitalize Swift's
What is an independent clause?
A clause (part of a sentence) that has a subject and a verb and is a complete thought. It can be a complete sentence.
What is an appositive?
Extra information that renames the noun next to it.
Correct the following sentence:
Sentence: During the concert, Taylor Swift sang Love Story, Bad Blood and is singing Karma.
Add a comma after "Blood" and remove "is singing"
During the concert, Taylor Swift sang Love Story, Bad Blood, and Karma.
Make the sentence more concise.
Sentence: Alfredo received a unique, one-of-a-kind gift for his birthday.
Remove "one-of-a-kind"
Alfredo received a unique gift for his birthday.
What word(s) need to be capitalized?
Taylor swift is named after another musician, james taylor.
Swift, James, Taylor
Taylor Swift is named after another musician, James Taylor.
Correct the following sentence.
Bonus: Explain your answer using high level vocabulary.
Sentence: I love butter pasta but everything tastes better with alfredo.
I love butter pasta, but everything tastes better with alfredo.
Add a comma after "pasta" because the sentence has two independent clauses and a FANBOYS.
What is the appositive in the sentence below?
Sentence: My favorite super hero is Iron Man, an Avenger.
My favorite super hero is Iron Man, an Avenger.
Correct the following sentence:
Sentence: I completed my work, is helping my siblings, and went to practice.
I completed my work, helped my siblings, and went to practice.
Make the sentence concise.
Sentence: Mac Miller's music influenced and impacted people all over the world.
Remove "influenced" or "impacted"
Mac Miller's music influenced people all over the world.
Correct the following sentence:
Sentence: Pamila jr is transferring to Monrovia high school.
Capitalize Jr, High, School
Pamila Jr is transferring to Monrovia High School.
What are the three ways to separate/combine independent clauses?
1. Comma and a FANBOYS
2. Period
3. Semi Colon
What is the appositive?
Sentence: I love to surf.
There is no appositive in the sentence.
Correct the following sentence:
Sentence: This week there are tennis, water-polo, cheer, football band volleyball, and club events.
Note: Sorry if I missed one.
Add commas after football and band.
This week there are tennis, water-polo, cheer, football, band, volleyball, and club events.
Make the sentence less redundant.
The Dodgers have a rich legacy and storied history in the world of baseball and sports.
Eliminate "rich legacy" or "storied history"
Eliminate "baseball" because baseball is a sport
The Dodgers have a rich legacy in the world of sports.
First person to stand up and yell "Bingo" gets the points.
WINNER
Correct the sentence:
Bonus: Explain why you made the correction using high level vocabulary.
Sentence: If you went to the football game on Friday you would have gotten to see exciting performances from the cheer, band, and football teams.
Answer: Add a comma after Friday.
Bonus: It is a dependent clause followed by an independent clause.
If you went to the football game on Friday, you would have gotten to see exciting performances from the cheer, band, and football teams.
Correct the following sentence:
Sentence: Kike Hernandez my favorite player is a utility player someone that plays many positions for the Dodgers.
Kike Hernandez, my favorite player, is a utility player, someone that plays many positions, for the Dodgers.
Combine the sentences into one sentence.
Lakers are the best.
Dodgers are the best.
Kings are the best.
Rams are the best.
Bruins are the best.
The Lakers, Dodgers, Kings, Rams, and Bruins are the best.
Define Redundancy.
Define Concision.
Redundancy: Repetition of information. Information that is no longer necessary.
Concision: Giving information in as few words as possible while keeping the meaning of the sentence.
Correct the following sentence:
Sentence: Eminem released his new album called the death of slim shady.
Capitalize The, Death, Slim, Shady
Eminem released his new album called The Death of Slim Shady.
Write a sentence that starts with a dependent clause and ends with an independent clause.
Answers may vary.
Sentence will likely start with:
Also, If, Since, Because, While, Although, Before, After, etc...
Write a sentence with an appositive.
Answers may vary.
Write a sentence that uses parallel structure.
Answers may vary.