Understanding Me
What is an internal conflict?
When two or more thoughts, feelings, needs, or desires compete with one another.
Someone wants their parents to trust them but continues to lie. What is the conflict?
Their actions are inconsistent with their goal of rebuilding trust.
What emotion might someone experience when they fear making a mistake?
Fear, anxiety, embarrassment, or shame.
Does wanting to change automatically mean someone is ready to change?
No.
You want more freedom but repeatedly break household expectations. What conflict exists?
Wanting independence while engaging in behaviors that undermine trust.
Can someone want to change but still feel afraid of changing?
Yes. This is an example of ambivalence.
Someone wants better grades but avoids completing assignments. What is the discrepancy?
The difference between their stated goal and their actual behavior.
Someone pushes people away because they fear rejection. What might be underneath this behavior?
Fear of vulnerability or emotional hurt.
What is ambivalence?
Having mixed feelings about making a change.
You want friendships but ignore people when you feel hurt. What might you be protecting yourself from?
Possible rejection, vulnerability, or emotional pain.
Why might someone become defensive when receiving feedback?
They may feel threatened, criticized, embarrassed, or afraid of being wrong.
What is it called when our beliefs and actions contradict each other?
Cognitive dissonance.
Why might someone become defensive when receiving feedback?
They may feel threatened, criticized, embarrassed, or afraid of being wrong.
What is one difference between external and internal motivation?
External motivation comes from outside influences; internal motivation comes from personal values or reasons
You make a mistake and blame someone else. What are you avoiding?
Taking responsibility and facing the consequences of your actions
What does self-awareness mean?
Recognizing and understanding your own thoughts, emotions, motivations, and behaviors.
Someone wants independence but refuses to demonstrate responsibility. What might they need to examine?
How their current choices affect their long-term goal of independence.
What is one possible reason someone avoids difficult conversations?
Fear of conflict, rejection, judgment, or uncomfortable emotions
Why might someone resist a positive change?
Fear, uncertainty, comfort with familiar patterns, or perceived losses
You want to improve but keep telling yourself, 'I can't do it.' What belief might be getting in your way?
A negative belief about your abilities or self-efficacy
Why might someone continue a behavior even when they know it causes problems?
The behavior may provide comfort, relief, protection, or an immediate reward.
Why is recognizing a gap between goals and actions important?
It creates an opportunity for insight, accountability, and intentional change.
Why is it important to explore the feelings underneath a behavior rather than only focusing on the behavior itself?
Understanding underlying emotions and needs can help identify what maintains the behavior and what needs to change.
What does it mean to take ownership of your behavior?
Acknowledging your choices and their consequences without blaming others
You recognize that your actions don't align with your goals. What is an important first step toward change?
Honestly exploring the discrepancy and identifying your own reasons for change