Thinking Errors 1
What is jumping to conclusions?
When a person assumes how a situation will turn out without any current evidence. When a person anticipates a result without actively trying to think from others perspective.
What are "shoulds"?
Having a set of rules of how others and we ‘should’ behave and feeling angry, guilty or upset when these rules are violated. This often leads to expectations of others and ourselves, which when left unfulfilled leads to disappointment.
What is passive communication?
Giving in and saying "yes" when you don't really want to. Not speaking up when you want something. Acting this way in order to be liked, to be nice, or not to hurt someone's feelings.
During this communication style, a person prioritizes the needs, wants, and feelings of others, even at their own expense. The person does not express their own needs or does not stand up for them.
What is one of the rules for fair fighting?
1) Before you begin, ask yoruself why you feel upset.
2) Discuss one issue at a time.
3) No degrading language.
4) Express your feelings with words and take responsibility for them.
5) Take turns talking.
6) No stonewalling.
7) No yelling.
8) Attempt to come to a compromise or an understanding.
What is the most important group rule?
Respect others.
What is catastrophizing?
When a person expects disaster to strike, no matter what. This is also a form of maximizing. Here a person expects the worst possible outcome, or worse possible reaction. This often happens when one exaggerated the importance of insignificant events (such as their mistakes, or someone else’s achievements).
What is overgeneralization?
When a person comes to a general conclusion based on a single incident or piece of evidence. If something bad happens once, we expect it to happen over and over again. A person may see a single, unpleasant event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.
What is aggressive communication?
Trying to get your own way or stand up for yourself by putting someone else down or violating another's rights. Taking what you want. Threatening or forcing another person to do or give you something you want.
Through this communication style, a person expresses that only their own needs, wants, and feelings matter. The other person is bullied, and their needs are ignored.
What is an example of stonewalling?
Sometimes, the easiest way to respond to an argument is to retreat into your shell and refuse to speak. This refusal to communicate is called stonewalling. You might feel better temporarily, but the original issue will remain unresolved and your partner will feel more upset. If you absolutely cannot go on, tell your partner you need to take a time-out. Agree to resume the discussion later.
What is the attendance policy?
Be on time! 10-minute grace period.
What is personalization?
Thinking that everything people do or say is some kind of reaction to us. When a person sees themselves as the cause some unhealthy external event that they were not responsible for.
What is minimizing?
When a person will make the problem seem smaller so they can avoid being accountable for their behaviors. This can be done by reducing or limiting the true significance of a hurtful behavior by comparing it with “worse behaviors”.
What is manipulative communication?
Getting what you want through dishonesty. Saying one thing, meaning another. Tricking or conning people into giving you what you want.
These communicators are great at influencing and controlling others for their own benefit.They have an underlying message when they speak, and many times the other person is unaware.
What is one barrier to coming to a compromise or an understanding with someone when fighting?
If you don't care enough about the relationship to want to compromise.
If you are both/one of you are too upset to engage in a conversation.
other examples.
What is the policy on food and drinks?
No food :( Water and beverages are okay.
What is blaming?
In order to avoid accepting one’s own faults, a person will find fault in another person/situation in an attempt to place responsibility of what happened on others.
What is emotional reasoning?
When we believe that what we feel must be true automatically. If we feel stupid and boring, then we must be stupid and boring. You assume that your unhealthy emotions reflect the way things really are. “I feel it, therefore it must be true”
What is passive communication?
Expressing negative feelings, needs, or resistance indirectly rather than openly. Avoiding direct communication by using sarcasm, subtle digs, procrastination, or intentional inefficiency. Saying “yes” but behaving in ways that communicate “no.”
Before you begin an argument, what is something you should ask yourself?
Why you feel upset? Are you truly upset about what you are bringing up in the argument or are you upset about something else?
In what circumstances, would you be asked to leave the group?
If you arrive after the 10-minute grace period.
If you attended under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
Acting aggressively or threatening other group members.
What is filtering?
When you take the negative details and magnify it, while filtering out all the positive aspects of the situation.
What is all-or-nothing thinking?
Things are either “black or white”. We have to be perfect or we are a failure- There is no middle ground. You place people or situations in “either, or” category with no grey areas; nor allowing for the complexity of most people or situations.
What is assertive communication?
Giving people an honest "no" to things you don't want. Asking straightforwardly for things you do want, without putting anyone down. Willing to take "no" for an answer. Not using other people and not letting yourself be used.
What group rule tells us what we share about what is discussed in group?
Confidentiality