Badly Explained Book Plots
A pirate is obsessed with killing a little kid who can fly.
Peter Pan
After kids tell me where it hurts, I push on the parts that hurt while asking if it hurts.
Pediatrician (doctor)
A guy learns to love a girl without her Instagram filters.
Shrek
Two brothers crawl through sewers to find a woman.
Super Mario Brothers
People drink coffee for ten years.
Friends
Old guy looks like a teenager. Watches high school girl sleep. She makes him hungry.
Twilight
I tell people all day to turn things off then back on again.
Tech Support (I.T.) or Electrician
Everyone tries the ice-bucket challenge unsuccessfully.
Titanic
A bunch of friends force each other into car accidents with fruit and reptile roadkill.
Mario Kart
Dad's on a hunting trip and hasn't returned.
Supernatural
A literate spider prevents a farmer from enjoying delicious bacon.
Charlotte's Web
I talk to myself in front of large numbers of young people busy on their phones.
Professor (teacher)
Talking frog convinces son to kill his dad.
Star Wars
A child fights with the help of his animal friends to take strangers' money.
Pokemon
Murder, mayhem, and the discovery of music; the town where parents are useless.
Riverdale
Bald, creepy guy becomes obsessed with a teenage boy and creates a cult. He dies.
Harry Potter
I insist on silence while honoring the fallen trees
Librarian
A girl saves her sister from dying and starts a war. Her sister dies anyway.
Hunger Games
Invest the time and energy into learning an instrument but without developing real skill.
Rockband
A man leads a group of people to rebel against the new diet trend
The Walking Dead
A scientist creates a creature that isn’t scary to him until it starts breathing...fire bad.
Frankenstein
I see dead people.
Mortician or Forensic Scientist
Single Father tries to end world hunger with his rock collection.
Infinity Wars
Do that thing you avoid doing all day, every day in your messy room, but do it for fun against the stress of a time limit.
Tetris
The smartest person in English literature isn't even the smartest in his family.
Sherlock Holmes (BBC)