Account-ability
Networking in a Coal Mine (Goin down, down, down...)
Dollars and Scents
Borrowed Time
A "John-t" Down Memory Lane
100
Unlike Capital One, this bank is not FDIC insured. Also, it is pink and made out of ceramic.
What is "a piggy bank?"
100
What John would like to schedule with each and every one of you.
What is a "One-to-One?"
100
A fictional flora that may exist in the fevered imagination of one who has not carefully reviewed their finances with an astute business banker (ahem). Also, we were convinced our parents had one of these growing in the backyard when we were little.
What is a "money tree?"
100
When it starts to rain, the cost of these usually go up. Also, Rhianna likes them.
What are "umbrellas?"
100
His Business Card
What is "in your wallet?"
200
Where you put your operating funds - with functionality tailored to suit!
What is "A Business Checking Account?"
200
A business owner (or contact) that you know who sounds just like they came out of the oven. Mmmm...toasty.
What is "a warm lead?"
200
While 80% of US Currency has traces of cocaine on it, this method of accepting payment from customers is safe, efficient, convenient, and statistically likely to increase revenues by 30% to 40% - with far less cocaine residue. Also, to fit with the theme: cash smells terrible.
What is "Merchant Services?"
200
An agency that supports entreprenuers and business owners by backing a loan issued through the bank with a partial government guarantee - making it easier for financial institutions to extend credit.
What is "The Small Business Administration?"
200
John graduated from this bastion of academic excellence with a degree in English. He now talk real good-like.
What is "The University of Maryland?"
300
A great way to spend for new business owners, but growth can make tracking transactions made with these very difficult. (They're also very fraud-prone)
What is "a business debit card?"
300
Doctors, Lawyers, CPAs, Business Owners, Nonprofit Executive Directors Also, supermodels.
What are "ideal referrals for John Tucker?"
300
If every rose has it's thorn, then this common way for new business owners to finance their growth can lead to higher costs down the road.
What is "a credit card?"
300
Bankruptcy, recent forclosure, tax lien, judgement, personal credit below 640, late payments on business obligations. Also, Jay-Z had 99 of them.
What are "Problems?"
300
The names of his two dogs (after adorable family nicknames John's parents had for him)
Who are "Mooch" and "Freeloader?"
400
Business owners should have this formally prepared before or shortly after they "open their doors." It should include notes on management experience, pricing, competitors, financial projections, and a long term strategy. (It is essential for securing SBA-backed financing)
What is "a business plan?"
400
Thething you must do, without fail, after meeting a new contact at a networking event. (Not "google them")
What is "Follow Up?"
400
The way something smells when you suspect someone has written fraudulent checks against your account - and you don't have a fraud management system in place (like "Positive Pay").
What is "fishy?"
400
The life-cycle of a dollar in your business: how it comes in, how it's spent, and what is left. For lending purposes, we want to understand sources and timing of repayment. Hint: Hippie bankers would tell you to "Go with it..."
What is "Cash Flow?"
400
This movie is a true story, based on his life (ladies man, six pack abs, all true).
What is "John Tucker Must Die?"
500
If you're a business client at Capital One in DC, chances are this handsome fellow is your relationship manager - checking to ensure your day-to-day needs and plans for the future are aligned with what the bank has to offer.
Who is "John Tucker?"
500
Advanced technology that permanantly stores contact information, is fully transferrable, and allows you to note additional, pertinent data without accidental deletion. You can still lose it on the metro, though.
What is "a business card?"
500
If roses by any other name smell just as sweet, then this uneccessary checking account service charge (that can be mitigated with an attached line of credit or savings account), could be called "Bullsh*t."
What is "an overdraft fee?"
500
Business owners with two years or more of business history, strong revenues, and positive personal credit history. Bonus points if they're looking to grow their business! These are "Plato's" kind of people!
What is "the ideal lending customer?"
500
2011
What is the year John joined BNI!
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