No matter how little or how much you use me, you change me every month. What am I?
A calendar.
They fill me up, and you empty me almost every day; if you raise my arm, I work the opposite way. What am I?
A mailbox.
My life is often a volume of grief; your help is needed to turn a new leaf. Stiff is my spine and my body is pale, but I'm always ready to tell a tale. What am I?
A book.
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one. Michael J. Fox has a short one. Madonna does not use hers. Bill Clinton always uses his. The Pope never uses his. What is it?
Last name.
During which month do people sleep the least?
February (there are usually fewer nights in February).
What has cities, but no houses; forests, but no trees; and water, but no fish?
A map.
First, I am dried, then I am wet. The longer I swim, the more taste you get. What am I?
Tea
What do you throw out when you want to use it but take in when you don't want to use it?
An anchor.
What does this mean? I RIGHT I
Right between the eyes.
What is made of water, but if you put it into water, it will die?
An ice cube.
In my hand, I have two coins that are newly minted. Together, they total 30 cents. One isn't a nickel. What are the coins?
A quarter and a nickel.
I am a box that holds keys without locks, yet they can unlock your soul. What am I?
A piano.
I can be short and sometimes hot. When displayed, I rarely impress. What am I?
Temper
I have no brothers or sisters, but this man's father is my father's son. Who is the man?
The man is my son.
What 4-letter word can be written forward, backward or upside down, and can still be read from left to right?
Noon
What is harder to catch the faster you run?
Your breath.
I have a big mouth, and I am also quite loud! I am NOT a gossip but I do get involved with everyone's dirty business. What am I?
A vacuum cleaner.
What rocks but does not roll?
A rocking chair.
What runs all around a backyard yet never moves?
A fence.
Take off my skin. I won't cry, but you will! What am I?
An onion.
What fastens two people yet touches only one?
A wedding ring.
He has married many women but has never been married. Who is he?
A Priest
You do not want to have it, But when you do have it, you do not want to lose it. What is it?
A lawsuit.
What tastes better than it smells?
A tongue.
Which tire doesn't move when a car turns right?
A spare tire.
Billy’s mother had five children. The first was named Lala, the second was named Lele, the third was named Lili, the fourth was named Lolo.
Billy
Choose the correct sentence: “The yolk of the egg is white” or “the yolk of the egg is white.”
Neither. Egg yolks are yellow, not white!
It’s as light as a feather, but the strongest person can’t hold it for more than five minutes. What is it?
Breath
The more there is, the less you see. What is it?
Fog
You can find it in Mercury, Earth, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn, but not in Venus or Neptune. What is it?
The letter “R”
What’s full of holes but can still hold water?
A sponge
Which is heavier, a pound of feathers or a pound of rocks?
Neither. Both weigh a pound!
You’re driving a city bus. At the first stop, three women get on. At the second stop, one woman gets off and a man gets on. At the third stop, two children get on. The bus is blue and it’s raining outside in December. What colour is the bus driver’s hair?
Whatever colour your hair is. Remember, you’re driving the bus!
There are three houses. One is red, one is blue and one is white. If the red house is to the left of the house in the middle, and the blue house is to the right of the house in the middle, where’s the white house?
In Washington, D.C.
It’s at the center of gravity and you can find it in Venus, but not Mars. What is it?
The letter “V”
What travels faster: heat or cold?
Heat travels faster because you can catch a cold!
A man was walking in the rain in the middle of nowhere without a coat or an umbrella. He got soaked, but not a single hair on his head was wet. How can this be?
He was bald.
A cowboy rode into town on Friday. He stayed in town for three days and rode back out on Friday. How is this possible?
The horse’s name was Friday.
What has a neck but no head, and wears a cap?
A bottle.
What has a ring but no finger?
A telephone.
What has legs but doesn't walk?
A table.
I’m your home and the third from the Sun. I’ve got water and life—aren’t I the fun one? What am I?
Earth
I’m not alive, but I can grow. I don’t have lungs, but I need air. I’m not a plant, but I need water. What am I?
Fire.
It belongs to you, but your friends use it more. What is it?
Your name.
Kate’s mother has three children: Snap, Crackle and ___?
Kate! It’s Kate’s mother, after all.