Riddles
What has a face and 2 hands but no arms or legs?
A clock
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "P" is silent
How do you measure bones?
In skele-tons!
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull-dozer
What kind of murderer is full of fiber?
A cereal killer
What did the horse say after it tripped?
"Help I've fallen and I can't giddy-up!
How are feet like ancient stories?
They're leg-ends!
WHAT DO YOU CALL CHEESE THAT IS"NT YOURS??
NACHO CHEEEESE
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk
What does a house wear?
Ad-dress
Why was Cinderella so bad a soccer?
She kept running away from the ball!
Why was the nose tired?
It never stopped running!
What did the vegetable say when it got a flat tire?
I should've brought a-spare-agus!
A star fish!
Where do you take a sick boat?
To the dock
What did the triangle say to the circle?
You're pointless
What did the body say to its lungs?
You take my breath away!
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say "Cheese"
Why are fish SOOOO smart?
They live in schools
What is ALWAYS coming, but never arrives?
Tomorrow
How did the barber win the race?
He knew a short cut
What did the bladder say to the urethra?
Urine trouble!!!
Why do the skeletons go to the BBQ/barbecue?
To get another rib
What animal are on legal documents?
Seals!