GREEK MYTHOLOGY
This three-headed monstrous dog guarded the gates of the Underworld to prevent the dead from escaping.
CERBERUS
Rejected by recruiting offices in Paramus, New Jersey, and Brooklyn due to 4F classifications for conditions like heart palpitations, he was finally selected by Dr. Abraham Erskine for "Project Rebirth" at Camp Cathcart.
CAPTAIN AMERICA / STEVE ROGERS
"My Way"
FRANK SINATRA
This former Fox News host and Army National Guard officer was named to lead the Department of Defense.
PETE HEGSETH
Mennonites trace their name to Menno Simons, an early 16th-century Anabaptist leader from this European country.
THE NETHERLANDS / HOLLAND
Condemned to Hades for his deceitfulness, this mythical king was cursed to roll a massive boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll back down every time it reached the top.
SISYPHUS
Identified as Prisoner 121758584 at San Quentin State Prison, this former VistaCorp systems engineer was jailed for executing a Robin-Hood-style cyber-heist.
ANT-MAN
"Sk8ter Boy"
AVRIL LAVIGNE
This former Governor of South Dakota was chosen to head the Department of Homeland Security, overseeing agencies including ICE and CBP, and then dismissed following a public scandal involving her husband.
KRISTI NOEM
Like their Amish cousins, conservative Old Order Mennonites travel using this traditional, animal-drawn form of transportation.
HORSE AND BUGGY
This famous musician traveled to the Underworld to rescue his wife Eurydice, but lost her forever when he looked back at her just before reaching the upper world.
ORPHEUS
A prop SHIELD personnel record labeled "Level 7 Clearance" lists a birth date of November 22, 1984, alongside the KGB dossier alias "Natalie Rushman."
BLACK WIDOW / NATASHA ROMANOFF
"Mr. Brightside"
THE KILLERS
Following his independent presidential run, this environmental attorney and anti-vaccine activist was nominated to lead the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS).
RFK, jr.
Mennonite communities are renowned worldwide for this communal, cooperative event where neighbor volunteers gather to construct a barn or house in a single day.
BARN RAISING
Zeus dispatched this messenger god to Ogygia to formally order Calypso to release Odysseus so he could return to Ithaca.
HERMES
A prop valet parking receipt from a San Francisco hotel displays the hand-written customer name "Shaun" and a claim ticket number of "#0492."
SHANG-CHI
"Neighborhood Music"
LITTLE ROB
This former WWE CEO and Small Business Administration head was nominated to lead the Department of Education.
LINDA MCMAHON
Central to Anabaptist theology is the rejection of infant baptism in favor of this practice, where individuals confess their faith as consenting adults.
BELIEVER'S BAPTISM / ADULT BAPTISM
Penelope proposed a contest to determine which suitor she would marry: stringing Odysseus's heavy bow and shooting an arrow through the sockets of this many iron axe heads.
12
A tactical military dossier seen on a computer screen displays the deployment serial number "EXO-7-HARNESS-009" assigned to a U.S. Air Force Pararescue Specialist.
SAM WILSON / FALCON
"Christmas Tree Farm"
TAYLOR SWIFT
This former Florida Attorney General was selected as Attorney General to lead the Department of Justice following Matt Gaetz's withdrawal from consideration.
PAM BONDI
Grounded in Jesus's Sermon on the Mount, Mennonites historically hold to a strict stance against military participation and violence, known as this principle.
PACIFISM / NONRESISTANCE