Boundary Basics
You don't have to worry about boundaries unless someone is really bugging you. True or False
FALSE. In order to maintain healthy boundaries it's important to know yourself and how you want others to relate to you.
Boundaries that have to do with your body and personal space are called:
Physical Boundaries
A student is smack-talking another student and asks you to join them.
Suggestions:
"I do not feel comfortable talking that way about others"
"I do not want to get involved."
Your brother borrows your favorite shirt without asking.
Yes. Material Boundary violation.
Good friends don't need to have boundaries with each other. True or False
FALSE.
Friends respect each other's boundaries and do not take advantage of each other to get their needs met.
This type of boundary is about making sure you are deciding how your time is spent and with whom
Time Boundaries
Your classmate sees you in the hallway and starts loudly telling you about their personal health issues.
suggestions:
"I'm not comfortable discussing this at school." "This really isn't the time or place."
Your friend calls and begins ranting about a fight they had with their friend. When you tell them you can't talk right now they say "Yeah, but this is really important!" and keep talking.
YES. This person is not respecting your Time Boundaries or your Emotional Boundaries.
If you make your boundaries clear up front, people will know how you want to be treated.
True or False.
TRUE.
This type of boundary has to do with belongings, money, and STUFF
Material Boundaries
You go out to dinner with a friend and they tell you that you should pay since you make more money than they do.
Suggestions:
"I am not comfortable with that." or "If you felt this way you should have brought it up before we got here."
You meet a new friend at school. You went home and found their TikTok. You decide to comment on every one of their Videos. Is this a Social Media boundary violation?
YES. It may make this person feel uncomfortable, since you just met.
Once you tell someone what your boundaries are they will always respect it. TRUE or FALSE.
Sometimes people will remember, but some won't. This is why it's important to be able to speak up and let someone know if they are not respecting your boundaries.
Boundaries that have to do with feelings and emotions are called
Emotional Boundaries
Your Aunt keeps insisting you hug her even after you have explained that you don't like hugs.
Suggestions:
"I'm not comfortable with a hug, how about a high-five?"
A classmate frequently takes your pencils and other items from your desk without asking.
YES. This is a violation of your Material Boundaries.
If someone violates my boundaries, it's probably my fault. True or False
FALSE. If someone is being inappropriate or oversteps a boundary to you, it is NOT your fault. You are responsible for setting and maintaining boundaries, but it is never your fault if someone is disrespectful or oversteps.
This type of boundary is about respecting what you or others think or believe
Intellectual Boundaries
Your friend asks you to help with a task. Three hours later and they keep finding more things for you to "help" with.
Suggestions:
"I agreed to help with ______. I hope that was helpful but now I need to leave."
"I don't mind helping you, but this is too much."
You don't like how someone chews their food.
No. Sometimes we find things that others do annoying or unpleasant but they are not boundary violations.