Facts on Healthy Boundaries
Helps spark healthy conversations.
What is the general goal of healthy boundaries?
over a quarter (25%), for example, can't differentiate between forced physical touch and touch that would be deemed loving/consensual
Number of young adults who confuse various controlling behaviors
Lily and her partner George set aside 30 minutes after the work day to set aside time to decompress and talk about their days with each other.
What is a healthy boundary?
commitment to your own growth, in all areas of your life and a foundation of love
What is the principal to starting to build healthy relationship boundaries?
gradual weakening or dissolution of personal and emotional limits, resulting in a loss of autonomy, increased stress, and burnout
What is a boundary erosion?
Requires effort, care and empathy
What is a true intimate relationship?
22% say they would be able to say some thing in case of boundary erosion/violation
Number of young adults comfortable taking action in uncomfortable/unsafe boundary related scenarios
Mia told her partner she went out on Friday with friends but she was actually meeting up with another individual for intimate activities.
What is an unhealthy boundary?
in the case a boundary is unsustainable, need to have a course of action for when problems occur because of its failure
What is the technique of holding the boundary?
intimate partner violence, abuse, and sexual violence
What is clear boundary violation (compared to boundary erosion)?
one of the main external sources of help with building/maintaining healthy boundaries, involves talking with a third party
What is relationship therapy?
54% of those surveyed, for instance, espoused belief that "if a guy wants to have sec with a girl, it's up to the girl to make it very clear she doesn't want to"
Number of young adults who don't understand consent (at all or in some respect)
Thomas was offered a new and really promising job opportunity but it's in a different state so he discusses the issue with his partner who he plans to marry eventually.
What is a healthy boundary?
when a boundary is violated, address it immediately and apply the already-discussed consequence, i.e., when your partner calls you a mean name, remind them that that is unacceptable and they need to respect that boundary
What is the technique of making clear the consequences?
refusing discuss important matters, staying physically separate, treating the other person coldly or angrily rather than handling conflict directly, etc.
What are different types of boundary violations?
Notice when others extend themselves for you, be honest about your feelings, respect limits set by the other person, etc.; necessary for maintenance of healthy boundaries
What are different types of intimacy skills?
about a third (~31%), for example, agreed "I have right to know where my partner is most of the time" is an example of a behavior in a healthy relationship dynamic
Number of young adults who misidentify unhealthy relationship behaviors for healthy ones
Marcus's partner occasionally goes silent when he feels overwhelmed but he blatantly refuses to communicate at all while in this state.
What is an unhealthy boundary?
after your partner violates a boundary (inevitable in any romantic relationship), restating why you have the boundary in the first place and that it comes from a place of love and wanting to grow together
What is the technique of reiterating your good intent with contrasting statements?
this means that there is a lack of reciprocal self-disclosure present in a relationship, so the two parties are failing to openly share their thoghuts, feelings, and vulnerabilities with little hesitation and/or anxiety.
What is a lack of trust in a romantic relationship?
express issues in timely fashion, make time for communication, maintain sexual fidelity, make time to enjoy leisure activities together, etc.
What are different intimacy-promoting boundaries?
49%, ages 14-17
Number of young men specifically who don't know what it takes to have a healthy relationship
Trinity and her girlfriend like to spend time cuddling and watching their favorite movies together (this typically does not involve any further sexual talk)
What is a healthy boundary?
when establishing new boundaries in romantic relationships, make sure your partner understands your intent for doing so comes from a loving place and a growth mindset
What is the technique of sharing your good intent?
one of the most common, but difficult aspects of unhealthy boundaries to recognize, defined by the APA as a dysfunctional relationship pattern when one individual (or both) is psychologically dependent or even controlled by the other in a relationship
What is codependency in romantic relationships?