Category 1
What is gaslighting?
A form of psychological manipulation where a person intentionally and repeatedly causes another person to doubt their perception, memory, reality, or judgement. Overtime this erodes a person’s sense of reality, autonomy, and self-trust.
How can you disengage from unhealthy conflict?
Leave the space if needed and it is safe to do so
Call a friend or use support resources (RA, advocate, etc.)
Prioritize your own safety and wellbeing
Ground yourself emotionally (e.g., deep breathing, naming your emotions internally, and reminding yourself you’re allowed to pause or leave)
Decide in advance your boundaries (e.g., “If they start yelling, I will leave.”)
Why can healthy conflict be good?
Healthy conflict can lead to deeper understanding, strong boundaries, and growth
Define boundaries
Personal limits that define what you are okay with and what you are not okay with emotionally, physically, mentally, and socially.
Name ways to deal with conflict in a healthy way
Listening to Understand
Taking Responsibility
Setting Boundaries
Disagreeing Respectfully
Use “I” statements (e.g., “I felt hurt when you cancelled without telling me.”)
Ask for clarification (e.g., “Can you help me understand what you meant?”)
Take a pause when needed
What are power dynamics?
The ways in which power, like who is controlling the conversation, decisions, or emotion, is shared or unbalanced
Power dynamics affect the comfort levels people have in sharing thoughts. Those who perceive an equal power balance are more likely to share openly, whereas individuals in a power imbalance may withhold information.
What are some examples of handling conflict in an unhealthy way?
Ignoring or Violating Boundaries
Threats, ultimatums, or guilt
Yelling or Interrupting
Blaming and Gaslighting
What are some signs of a healthy relationship?
Open and Respectful Communication
Mutual Respect and Autonomy
Emotional safety and trust
Balanced effort and reciprocity
Growth and shared values
Why is it important to feel safe during a conflict?
Safety affects if you feel safe disagreeing, if your voice feels respected, and if it is safe to share feelings without being punished. Safety impacts the argument in terms of how to unfolds, but it also affects the sense of closure one can feel, or not feel, following an argument. If someone didn’t have the safety to feel heard and share their opinions, they will lack the closure needed from the argument, and will feel as though the argument didn’t accomplish anything in the end.
What skills are needed for a healthy relationship?
Communication:
- Not just talking—but listening, clarifying, and responding with empathy.
- Includes expressing needs clearly and navigating conflict without blame or stonewalling.
Emotional Regulation:
- Managing your own stress, frustration, or anxiety so it doesn’t spill onto your partner.
- Allows for calmer problem-solving and deeper emotional safety.
Boundary Setting:
- Knowing and expressing your limits while respecting your partner’s.
- Helps prevent resentment and fosters mutual respect.