Conflict Resolution
Name one reason conflict resolution is important
1. it promotes the establishment of deeper more meaningful relationships with those around you.
2. lets you engage respectfully with others, which in turn promotes a sense of trust
3. Helps us maintain healthy relationships and preventing them from deteriorating beyond repair
4. it allows us to understand ourselves better, our triggers, and our communication styles.
What are the three communication styles?
Passive, Assertive, and Aggressive
What are the four attachment styles?
Secure, Ambivalent, Avoidant, Disorganized
What are the three aspects/domains of forgiveness in relationships?
Rigid, Porous, and Assertive
Boundary styles
What term is used when we refuse to communicate with another person and withdraw from the conversation to create distance, also known as the silent treatment.
Stonewalling
What skills are used in active listening?
1. Put away distractions.
2. Use verbal and nonverbal communication.
3. Ask open-ended questions.
4. Use reflections.
This attachment style contains the following traits: overly rigid, guarded, uncomfortable with emotions and conflict, strong sense of independence, uncomfortable expressing your feelings, hard time trusting people.
Avoidant
True or False: Forgiveness consist of: reconciliation (repairing or returning to a relationship), forgetting the issue, condoning or excusing the other’s behavior, and/or "letting go”, but wishing for revenge
False, Forgiveness consists of:
The decision to overcome pain that was inflicted by another person, yourself, or a situation. Letting go of anger, resentment, shame, and other emotions associated with this issue/event, even though they are reasonable feelings. Treating the other person/yourself/situation with compassion.
What are some reasons people are afraid to set boundaries?
1. Fear of angering people
2. Fear of disappointing others
3. Fear of being seen as difficult or selfish
4. Fear of being mean
5. Fear of ruining relationships
When bringing up a problem to the other person, the first ___ minutes are crucial.
Three
Turn this sentence into an "I" statement
“This kitchen is a mess. You’re such a slob.”
“I feel frustrated when dirty dishes are left in the sink. Could you please do the dishes tonight?”
If I have a tendency toward emotional extremes, difficulty maintaining healthy boundaries, prone to high-conflict relationships, fear of rejection, contradictory behaviors, high levels of anxiety, difficulty trusting others, I may have a _______ attachment style
Disorganized
True or False: Just because we are ready to apologize doesn't mean the other person is ready to accept it.
True, everyone takes their own time coming to a place of forgiveness nd readiness to move forward and just because we are ready to take responsibility or resolve the issue doesn't mean the other person is.
How would you set boundaries with someone regarding social media?
"I understand you are excited about my new job however I do not like people knowing where I work so can you take down your post."
"I know that this event was important for you too however I would like to be the one to post the photos first."
What are the five different conflict management styles?
Competing, Collaborating, Avoiding, Accommodating, and Compromising.
True of False: Anytime is the right time to discuss an issue with the other person in the relationship
False, we want to have these conversations when we are not distracted, under the influence, tired, etc.
If I have a secure attachment style, what kind of behaviors will I exhibit in a relationship?
Engages in healthy relationships with good intimacy, communication, and autonomy. Expresses needs well, trusts their partner, and finds the relationship fulfilling.
What are the four phases of forgiveness?
uncovering phase, decision phase, work phase, and deepening phase
Physical, emotional, intellectual, sexual, material, time
Individuals with what conflict management style use a combination of being assertive and cooperative to work with others to find solutions that are beneficial to everyone. These individuals see conflict as an opportunity to improve relationships and reduce tensions.
Collaborating
What skills can be helpful to overcome stonewalling in ourselves?
Self-soothing such as deep breathing, grounding, PMR, pause the conversation and set a return date/time, other forms of self-care.
What is the best predictor of adult attachment styles?
The perceptions that people have about the quality of their relationships with their parents as well as their parent's relationship with each other.
Responsibility, Remorse, Restoration, and Renewal
How would you set a boundary in this situation? You feel embarrassed and hurt when your partner or friend jokes about you to their friends/other friends. You've asked them to stop in the past and they told you to lighten up, they were just joking.
Setting a boundary with kindness: "I'd like to talk to you about what happened when your friends were here last Friday. I felt embarrassed when you were joking about my cooking. I know you didn't mean any harm, but it really hurt my feelings. I felt like a failure. I'd like you to stop putting me down in front of your friends. It would mean a lot to me."