The toolbox (Communication Skills)
The act of paying full attention to the speaker in order to understand the message they are sending. Involves using our ears, eyes, and body language
Active listening
This two-letter word is considered a "complete sentence" when setting a boundary.
No
This 4-letter acronym helps you check if you are too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired to have a serious talk.
H.A.L.T
This "Green Flag" happens when someone does what they say they are going to do, building trust over time.
Consistency/reliability/integrity/etc
A physical or emotional "reset" where both parties agree to stop talking for 20 minutes to calm down.
"Taking a time out"
"walking away"
A type of statement that focuses on the speaker's feelings rather than the other person. The speaker takes responsibility for their emotions and communicates their needs.
Can help reduce defensiveness in other person.
"I" statements
Ex: "I feel pressured when I have to make a decision right away. I need more time to process things."
These are the three main styles of communication: Passive, Aggressive, and __________.
Assertive
Something that reminds you of a painful past experience and causes an unwanted emotional and/or behavioral response in you
Trigger
This "Red Flag" involves a person checking your private text messages, emails, or social media without your permission.
Violation of privacy/controlling behavior
This is the ultimate goal of a healthy argument: it’s not "Me vs. You," it’s "Us vs. the __________."
Problem
A type of question that requires more than a yes/no answer
Open-ended question
This type of boundary refers to your physical body, your personal space, and who is allowed to touch you.
Physical boundary
A coping skill that involves focusing on and regulating your breath in order to calm yourself down
Deep breathing/box breathing/breathing exercises
When two people in a relationship can disagree without calling each other names or using insults, they are showing this "Green Flag."
Mutual respect/understanding
This is the "Give and Take" skill where both people give up a little bit of what they want to reach an agreement.
Compromise
Instead of guessing what someone means, you could ask a clarifying __
question
True or False: Setting a boundary is meant to control someone else's behavior.
False—it’s about stating what you will or will not accept in a relationship and what you will do if that boundary is violated
This is the act of leaving a heated situation temporarily to calm down, with the promise to return later.
Taking a "time-out"/walking away
This "Red Flag" describes a partner who tries to keep you away from your supportive friends or family members.
Isolation
True or False:
When discussing a problem with our partner, we should bring up past issues that we are also frustrated about.
False.
A "fair fighting" tip: stick to one topic at a time.
DISCUSSION
If you are too angry to speak kindly, what is one way you can "hit the pause button" before responding?
Discussion points are awarded for participation and honesty :)
DISCUSSION
What is the hardest part about maintaining a boundary with a family member/close fried versus someone you just met/a stranger?
Points awarded based on participation :)
DISCUSSION
Why is it harder to use your communication "tools" when your body is in "Fight or Flight" mode?
Points awarded based on participation
DISCUSSION
Is it a Red Flag if someone has different values than you (for example, regarding money or religion), or is that just a "difference"? How do you tell the difference?
Participation points :)
DISCUSSION
How do you know when a conflict is "productive" versus just "venting"?
Participation points