Physical Boundaries
These are three types of physical boundaries a person might have
PERSONAL SPACE: Your "bubble" - how much space you need around you, comfort level with touch (handshakes, hugs, etc.)
PROPERTY: Your comfort level with others touching, using, or looking at your stuff. Can someone move your bag if it's in the way? What if they pick up your journal without asking?
INTIMATE: These are your boundaries when it comes to romantic and sexual contact, including flirting.
Name three characteristics of a healthy dating relationship.
-Positive communication
-Feeling liked, loved, and respected by the other person
- Consent is a part of intimacy and partners never pressure each other
-Partners are okay doing things separately and don't exhibit unhealthy jealousy
Which of these is more important: verbal or nonverbal communication?
Nonverbal!
What we say is, of course, important.
Our brains pay MUCH more attention to how it's said, facial expressions, and body language.
55 percent of the message we send is through non-verbals
Only 7 percent is through our words!
Define what emotional boundaries mean to you.
This can vary!
Generally this means:
Understanding your emotional separateness from others.
Being able to accept and tolerate the emotions of others without becoming involved in them
Not blaming others for your emotional state, and understanding that no one else's emotions are your responsibility
This term generally refers to the permission we give someone to touch us or be in our space.
Consent
What are three warning signs that you might notice in a friend who is experiencing dating violence?
-Isolation/withdrawal
-Frequently needing to defend their partner
-Spending excessive time with their partner or needing to follow partner's "rules" (who they can and can't hang out with, texting/calling excessively, partner needing to always know where they are)
-New or increased depression, anxiety, or agitation
-Losing interest in hobbies and activities and/or adopting partner's interests instead
Name two non-verbal ways that we can send negative messages to others.
Talking too loudly
Mumbling
Crossing arms frequently
Infrequent eye contact
Standing too close (in someone's bubble)
Name one sign (that you would feel) that you might be experiencing someone violating an emotional boundary.
Resentment
Discomfort
Anxiety
Fear
Stress
Practice an appropriate way to address someone who tends to violate your "bubble" (is in your space and too close for comfort).
Many possible responses!
Be KIND and polite but firm. Establish what your boundary is and ask that they respect it. It doesn't matter if they disagree or have a different comfort level than you.
Name two types of abuse that can occur in a relationship.
Emotional/Psychological
Physical
Sexual
Financial
Verbal
Name two characteristics of a good communicator.
Thinks before they speak
Speaks assertively/confidently but not aggressively
Never uses violence or intimidation to send a message
Is aware of their body language and tone
Does not interrupt
Listens actively instead of just waiting to talk
Has mental/opinion boundaries - can disagree respectfully and acknowledge that others have a right to their beliefs
Give an example of a healthy emotional boundary in a peer relationship or dating relationship (outside of Rogers).
Being able to express disagreement appropriately
Comfort with saying "no" - not just physically/sexually, but to someone's use of your time, your energy and your stuff
Ability to leave relationships where you are not validated, respected and safe
Ability to communicate messages clearly without excessive emotionality, violence, or passive aggression
Sharing personal information in relationships gradually and mutually (give and take)
Give an example of a physical gesture that might be appropriate with one person and not another.
(Many possible answers)
Name two ways to stay safe on social media.
Don't accept friend requests from people you don't know
Don't post anything you wouldn't want your future employer to see (this includes private messages and images)
Never post personal information like your address or telephone number
Why is texting/messaging sometimes an ineffective way to communicate a message?
We can't accurately interpret tone, meaning and emotion from text alone sometimes without physical cues and context.
Name a benefit of having clear and appropriate emotional boundaries.
Less anxiety when you're not trying to manage the feelings and choices of others!
More respect from others
Clearer communication
The ability to identify and maintain healthy relationships that benefit both people equally
Not feeling emotionally "used" or drained; getting as much as you give
Why does Rogers staff set rules about physical boundaries and enforce peer restrictions when rules are broken?
Inpatient treatment involves making acquaintances and practicing positive social skills. However, using treatment as a setting for forming friendships and other relationships is usually not appropriate:
-This could be preventing you from focusing on your treatment
-Even if you don't have boundary issues, the person you're interacting with may be trying to work on theirs
-Some patients are processing physical and sexual trauma while at Rogers and involvement in new relationships can be harmful
Describe one or more ways to respond if someone is pressuring you to do something you're uncomfortable with.
Practice saying no
It's okay to lie to get out of an unsafe situation.
Be clear with yourself about where your boundaries lie.
Always make sure a safe person (a trusted friend or adult) knows where you are - a code word can be helpful if you need help
Plan an escape route - know in advance how you will excuse yourself from a date, a party, or a hangout if you become uncomfortable
How could someone's culture influence how they communicate with others?
Different cultures have very different norms when it comes to appropriate amounts of eye contact, physical distance in conversation, volume, touching while talking, etc.
What's one consequence of poor emotional boundary-setting?
Being taken advantage of emotionally or becoming the "yes person"
Susceptibility to peer pressure
Believing that we can "save" or "fix" others (not true and very draining!)
Involvement in unhealthy relationships; higher risk of being in an emotionally or mentally abusive relationship
Disappointment in others when we expect them to "make us" happy