Green Flags
True or False: A healthy relationship only has green flags, and any disagreement is a red flag.
False! Healthy relationships still have disagreeements. What matters most is how your partner treats you during them and how they’re handled.
What is a red flag?
1. Red means go, therefore you should jump into things with that person.
2. An indicator that a person might not be the best for you.
3. A feeling of being nervous around someone new
4. A misunderstanding
2. An indicator that a person might not be the best for you. Red flags are warnings and things to consider.
True or False: A want is something you look for in a relationship but isn't necessary to have and isn't a deal-breaker if it doesn't exist
True! A want is something that YOU can feel strongly about WITHOUT being needed for a relationship to be healthy.
True or False: Needs and Wants are the same thing.
False! Needs are essentials for a healthy relationship, like respect, honesty, and safety, while wants are nice-to-have preferences, like shared hobbies or a good sense of humor.
True or False: Dealbreakers should be ignored.
False!
Scenario: You and your partner take turns choosing where to eat after school. Neither of you always gets your way. Which green flag is this?
A. Independence
B. Equality
C. Comfortable Pace
D. Honesty
Equality! Taking turns means both people's choices matter equally. Neither person gets to decide everything.
True or False: Your partner demands to be around you at all times, makes you pay for them, and never lets you have a say in what you do together. This is a healthy relationship.
False! This shows several red flags: demanding all of your time, financially pressuring you, and lack of equality in the relationship.
True or False: In a relationship, I feel strongly about my partner liking dogs. This is a dealbreaker.
False! This is a want. Someone liking dogs is nice, but it is not something that will make or break a relationship, and does not impact your safety.
Which of the following is an example of a need in a relationship?
A. Someone who is funny
B. Someone who is good-looking
C. Someone who respects your boundaries
D. Someone who likes the same music as you
C. Needs are essential for a healthy relationship, like respect, honesty, and safety. Humor, looks, and shared music taste are wants. They're nice to have, but a relationship can be healthy without them.
True or False: Dealbreakers can be compromised.
False! Delabreakers are a part of your boundaries; you must protect what you are willing to tolerate from others.
Scenario: You tell your partner you're hanging out with friends after school on Friday. They say, "Have fun! Text me if you want to meet up later." They don't ask for your location, and they don't text you constantly while you're out.
True or False: This is an example of trust, which is a green flag.
True. Your partner believes what you tell them and doesn't feel the need to monitor you. In a healthy relationship, trust means you can spend time with other people without being checked up on, questioned, or made to feel guilty.
Scenario: You tell your partner that a comment they made at lunch hurt your feelings. They respond, "That never happened. You're being dramatic." After a while, you start to wonder if you really are overreacting. Which red flag is this?
A. Love Bombing
B. Jealousy
C. Gaslighting
D. Guilt-Tripping
Gaslighting
True or False: Wants are not important and you don't have to think about them before entering a relationship.
False! Wants are important because they are an indicator of fulfillment in a relationship. While they aren't hard boundaries, they are still important.
True or False: I should compromise on my needs.
False! Needs should be a hard boundary, as they are necessary for you to maintain a relationship.
What is a dealbreaker?
A. a type of red flag that will end the relationship or any prospect of one immediately.
B. The thing you see on "Deal or No Deal" that makes the person lose
C. an indicator that this person may not be for you or that the relationship is unhealthy.
D. None of the above
a type of red flag that will end the relationship or any prospect of one immediately.
Scenario: I just started talking to someone new in a romantic way. They have expressed to me that they want to take things slow, and don't want to rush into anything, and you understand. Which green flag is this?
A. Equality
B. Comfortable Pace
C. Honesty
D. Fun
Comfortable pace! Your new partner is expressing that they want to go through things at a pace that works for them, and a pace that is not fast.
Scenario: Someone you've been talking to for a few weeks gives you a small birthday gift. When you say you want to keep things casual, they say, "No problem, we can go at your pace."
True or False: This is love bombing.
False. Love bombing is over-the-top affection used to rush you or control you. Here the gift is small and they respect your pace, which is a green flag.
Which of the following is a want in a relationship, not a need?
A. A partner who respects your boundaries
B. A partner who is honest with you, even when it's hard
C. A partner who is good at sports
D. A partner who supports your goals
C. Wants are nice-to-have preferences, like shared hobbies. Needs, like respect, honesty, and support, are essential for a healthy relationship.
Scenario: Your friend says, "In a relationship, I need my partner to text back within five minutes and like all the same hobbies as me. I won't date them if they don't meet my needs."
True or False: Both of these are needs.
False! Both are wants. Shared hobbies are nice to have, and expecting instant replies can turn into pressure or control.
True or False: My partner is making a lot of threats to me, and I feel unsafe. This should be a signal to me that I should end my relationship.
True!
You and your partner disagree about weekend plans. Things get tense, so your partner asks for a 20-minute break. When you come back, you each restate the other's point and land on a plan that works for both of you. Which green flag shows this best as a whole?
A. Communication
B. Equality
C. Healthy Conflict Resolution
D. Taking Responsibility
Healthy conflict resolution! It covers the whole process: cooling down, listening, and reaching a solution together. Communication and equality each show up as small pieces, but they don't capture the full picture.
Your partner demands to know your passwords, monitors who you follow and what you post, and constantly messages you when you have communicated that you are busy. What red flag is this?
Volatility
Digital dating abuse
Tracking
Isolation
Digital Dating Abuse
True or False: I should never ever compromise on my wants.
False! You can compromise a want if it is done in a healthy way, and it leads to growth in your relationship.
Scenario: Maya is making a list of what she's looking for in a partner. Which item on her list is a need, not a want?
A. Someone who texts her every day
B. Someone who is honest with her, even when the truth is uncomfortable
C. Someone who is romantic and plans big surprises
D. Someone who has a lot of friends
B. Honesty is essential, because trust and safety can't exist without it. The others sound positive but are wants. Daily texts, grand gestures, and popularity are nice, but a healthy relationship can exist without them.
Scenario: Your partner has done several things during your relationship. Which one should always be a dealbreaker, no matter what?
A. They lied once about where they were, then admitted it and apologized
B. They get jealous when you hang out with certain people
C. They want to go to a different college and aren't sure about long distance
D. They shoved you during an argument, then said it was a one-time thing because they were stressed
D. Violence should always be a dealbreaker. An apology or "it was only once" doesn't make it safe.