Dark Humor
My elderly relatives liked to tease me at wedding saying "your next"
They soon stopped after I would say the same to them at funerals
Your under a vest
Why dont churches have wifi
Because they cant compete with a invisable force that works
What do you call a fake noodle
An impasta
Why dont I trust stairs
Because there always up to something
haha
Whats the difference between a black dad and an elevator
An elevator can support a family
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
Today, an old lady asked me to check her balance
So i pushed her over
What would the Terminator be called in his retirement?
The exterminator
Which bear is the most condescending?
A pan-duh!
Santa, why do you have such a big sack
Because I come once a year
Because he Neverlands.
What is an Karen called in Europe
An american
What does a baby computer call his dad
data
My boss told me to have a good day,
So I went home
Whats the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza
A slice of pizza cant feed a family
but the day before is a sadder day.
My son whos in to astronomy asked how stars die
"Usually from an overdose" I told him
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet
Supplies!
To get his quarterback.
What kind of dance to Mexicans do
The chimi chonga
What did the traffic light say to the car
Look away, im about to change
How do you get a country girl’s attention?
A tractor
I named my dog 5- miles
Every time i see someone i can say i walked 5-miles
Why cant your nose be twelve inches long
Then it be a foot