Family Conflict
Your aunt makes a passive-aggressive comment about your appearance.
Use DEAR MAN to assert boundaries OR excuse yourself and self-soothe.
Holiday shopping is loud, chaotic, and overstimulating.
Use paced breathing + calming playlist.
Your family cheers with wine and expects you to join.
Hold your non-alcoholic drink + respond with 'I’m good with this.'
Skill used to calm your body when overwhelmed.
TIPP – temperature, intense exercise, paced breathing.
You feel socially drained in a big family event.
Take a short break + mindful breathing.
Two family members start yelling at each other during dinner and your heart starts racing.
Use STOP skill → Step back, Take a breath, Observe, Proceed mindfully.
Family comments on food or weight at the table.
Shift focus to connection, use wise mind, and remind yourself of affirmations.
A cousin says, 'Just one drink won’t hurt.'
DEAR MAN response: 'I’m choosing sobriety today. Please respect that.'
List two senses you can self-soothe with.
Any of: vision, smell, taste, touch, hearing.
Family keeps asking about school or your mental health.
Use brief answers + redirect conversation.
A family member says, 'You’ve changed since treatment,' in a judgmental tone.
Validate yourself internally + Use 'I' statement to clarify your boundaries.
A smell of a certain food or a room reminds you of a tough memory.
Grounding skill: name 5 things you see, 4 you feel, 3 you hear, etc.
You smell alcohol and suddenly crave it.
Use urge surfing + distract with opposite action.
You feel like isolating, but staying around others would help.
Opposite action: join a game or talk to someone safe.
You feel isolated even around family.
Reach out to one safe person or practice gratitude.
Family keeps asking why you’re 'being quiet' and pushing you to talk when you don’t want to.
Use the OPTION skill: Opt out by taking space + grounding technique (5-4-3-2-1).
A relative who has previously hurt you emotionally shows up unexpectedly.
Create a quick exit plan (bathroom break, step outside, text support).
Family asks, 'Why aren’t you drinking?'
Use brief response: 'Health reasons,' or 'I’m good right now.'
You predict holiday stress. How do you prepare?
Create a cope-ahead plan.
Two relatives argue during gift opening.
Step away + grounding object.
Your parent brings up an old fight that triggers sadness & anger.
Use 'cope ahead' plan + set firm boundary ('I’m not discussing this today').
A holiday tradition brings up grief or trauma.
Use ACCEPTS skills → Contribute or engage in Activities.
You’re at a party and someone hands you a drink.
Use EXIT strategy: decline, walk away, call support person.
Name 3 distress-tolerance skills for holiday chaos.
ACCEPTS, TIP, Self-Soothing, Wise Mind.
Someone jokes about mental health.
Decide if worth addressing; if yes, respond with short boundary statement.