ACT IT OUT
I feel disgusted when I see you eating with your mouth open, because I see your chewed up food. I need you to eat with you mouth closed, please.
Any "I feel______ when______, because________. I need ________. "will work
The following is an example of an
I-Statement:
“I feel frustrated when you take my things out of my room without asking first because then I have a hard time finding my stuff. Could you please ask me first next time?”
True
Complete the following I-Statement by filling in the blank with a quick drawing:
“I feel ___ when the teacher calls on me to present in front of the class and I’m not ready or don’t know the answer. I wish I had more time to think about my answer first or write it down instead.
Imagine if you told your friend private information about a big change that was happening with your family and they promised not to tell anyone. Later on, you find out that your friend didn’t keep their promise and now half the class knows about your personal business. You feel betrayed and don’t know if you can trust your friend again. What I-Statement could you use?
I feel betrayed when you didn't keep your promise, because half the class knows my personal business, and I don't know if I can trust you again. I need you to show me that you can earn my trust back by apologizing.
Any "I feel _______ when ________, because _______. I need __________." statement will work.
Change the following yoU-Message
into an I-Statement:
“You’re so unfair! You always believe her over me even when she is lying! ”
I feel hurt when you believe her over me, because it seems like you are being unfair. I need you to listen to my side.
Any "I feel _______ when ________, because _______. I need __________." statement will work.
You and your friend made plans to hang out during lunch. But when the time came, your friend went off with another classmate. You felt really disappointed and bummed out by this.
What I-Statement could you use to
talk to your friend about this?
Act It Out!
I feel disappointed when didn't follow the plan and went with another classmate. I need you to tell me about the change of plans or follow through with the plan.
Any "I feel________ when__________, because _______. I need ________." statement will work
“You get on my nerves!” is an example of on I-Statement.
False
Complete the following I-Statement by filling in the blank with a quick drawing:
“When you said you didn’t want to be friends anymore, I felt ___. I really value our friendship and wish we could still hang out.”
upset or sad
other feelings like this
Imagine if your friend had a habit of grabbing and eating some of your lunch without asking if it was okay. Most of the time you are happy to share your food, but you’d prefer it if they asked you first.
What I-Statement could you use?
I feel upset when you grab and eat my lunch, because you are taking something of mine without asking. I need you to ask me first.
Any "I feel _______ when ________, because _______. I need __________." statement will work.
Use an I-Statement to share how you feel right now, in this very moment.
Go!
Any "I feel _______ when ________, because _______. I need __________." statement will work.
Pretend that your younger sibling won’t stop talking and it’s driving you crazy because you are trying to focus on completing your homework. Instead of telling them, “You’re so annoying! You’re driving me insane! Stop talking!” what
I-Statement could you use instead?
Act It Out!
I feel annoyed when keep talking while I am trying to focus on completing my homework. I need you to give me quiet time while I work on my homework.
Any "I feel _______ when ________, because _______. I need __________." statement will work.
The following statement is an example of an I-Statement:
“When you teased me, you made me so mad.”
False - it is missing the "I need" statement
Complete the following I-Statement by filling in the blank with a quick drawing:
“When you laughed at and made fun of my new haircut, I felt ___. I want to be spoken to kindly.”
sad, hurt, embarrassed, upset, mad, or other feelings like this
Imagine if your classmate was distracting and disturbing you while you were trying to complete your assignment. You don’t want to be “mean” but you also want to be able to focus on your work.
What I-Statement could you use?
I feel annoyed when you are distracting me, because it is disturbing me while I work. I need quiet time while I work.
Any "I feel _______ when ________, because _______. I need __________." statement will work.
Change the following yoU-Message
into an I-Statement:
“You never hang out with me anymore. It’s like you don’t want to be friends anymore.”
I feel upset when we don't hang out, because it feels like you don't want to be friends anymore. I need for us to spend more time together.
Any "I feel _______ when ________, because _______. I need __________." statement will work.
Your friend just laughed at you in front of the entire class for getting the wrong answer and you felt embarrassed and hurt. You think maybe your friend doesn’t know how their behavior impacted you, so you decide to talk to them privately after class. Use an I-Statement to communicate how you feel and how you would like to be treated.
Act It Out!
I feel hurt when you laughed at me in front of the entire class for getting the answer wrong, because it was embarrassing. I need you to not laugh at me.
Any "I feel _______ when ________, because _______. I need __________." statement will work.
The following is an example of an I-Statement:
“I think that you’re a liar and a cheater.”
False
Complete the following I-Statement by filling in the blank with a quick drawing:
“When we spend time together, I feel ___. I hope that we can do things together more often.”
Happy, joyful, or other feelings like that
Imagine if your friend teased you about your drawing, that you really put a lot of effort into and felt proud of. Now you feel slightly embarrassed and hurt.
What I-Statement could you use?
I feel embarrassed when you teased my about my drawing, because I put a lot of effort into it. I need you to use kind words
Any "I feel _______ when ________, because _______. I need __________." statement will work.
What are two good reasons to
use I-Statements over yoU-Messages?
1. It shows the other person what emotions you are experiencing
2. The other person cannot argue because it is the way you feel and what you need
3. They understand what they did to give you the emotion
4. It eliminates blame and name calling
This is the second or third time that you’ve noticed your friend roll their eyes at you and then lean over and whisper to another classmate while looking straight at you. You are not quite sure what is going on but you do know that you feel uncomfortable. What I-Statement could you use with your friend?
Act It Out!
I feel uncomfortable when you roll your eyes at me and then lean over and whisper to another classmate while looking straight at me, because I believe your are saying mean things about me. I need you to talk to me if there is something I am doing to annoy you and not roll your eyes at me.
Any "I feel _______ when ________, because _______. I need __________." statement will work.
I-Statements are only useful if you have a disagreement or conflict with someone.
False- I statements can also be used to express joy and happiness
Complete the following I-Statement by filling in the blank with a quick drawing:
“I felt ___ when you were goofing around and I had to complete our group project all on my own. The next time, I would like both of us to work on it together.”
disrespected, upset, mad, frustrated, disappointed, or other feelings like this
Imagine if one of your classmates often put you down when you played soccer with them. Instead of being teased, how would you like to be treated instead?
What I-Statement could you use?
I feel embarrassed when you put me down when we play soccer, because I am trying my best and it seems like you don't like the way I play. I need you to use kind words
Any "I feel _______ when ________, because _______. I need __________." statement will work.
Think about a recent disagreement or conflict you had with someone, perhaps with a friend or family member. Without using any names, if you could go back in time and use an I-Statement with them, what would you say?
Any "I feel _______ when ________, because _______. I need __________." statement will work.